Perhaps something that you made yourself, a letter or picture that symbolizes where you hope to move towards?

During this time of reconciliation work you mentioned I am reminded of the symbolism behind the Christmas tree.

The evergreen representing the promise that life continues even during the cold long nights of winter when all might seem lost. Winter a time to move inward, reflect, sleep, reconcile and restore our energies that, when the time is right, leads to spring.

We decorate the promises of the tree with lights and ornaments many of which represents those that have past and our fondest memories, some bitter sweet yet more meaningful because of it. The ornaments shining and reflecting in light revealing new perspectives.

Underneath the branches of the promise of the evergreen renewal and reflecting memories of hope we place our gifts. Gifts wrapped in paper so that we might wonder what possibility lies within. Perhaps the ritual reminding us that there are hidden gifts, new possibilities, a new birth… that are still to be discovered within ourselves and those we love.

Enjoy your Christmas and being together with those you care about in embracing all the imperfections of the season. That would be a great gift for anyone.

• This reply was modified 8 years ago by Peter.

I was thinking that maybe more than one gift would be a good thing, so he doesn’t read too much into just one thing.

For instance, you could put in one box a rock (wrapped carefully), a photo of the two of you at one of your happiest times, and a third thing that might symbolize his individuality, like something to do with a hobby of his, thereby showing that you respect his interests?

Christmas is definitely an emotionally-charged time, filled with many expectations. I’d try to keep things lighter and more fun, for the sake of your relationship and your family, too.