Dear Adrianne:

I understand where you’re coming from. The holiday season can be incredibly stressful, especially when past experiences have left a negative impact. It’s tough when the memories associated with Christmas are more about conflict and discomfort than joy and togetherness.

It’s perfectly okay to want peace of mind and to prioritize your well-being. The pressure to be with others and the anxiety of not having plans can be overwhelming. It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and you have the right to make choices that are best for you.

Spending Christmas alone last year brought you relief. It might be worth considering why: was it the quiet? The lack of pressure? The freedom to do what you wanted? Understanding this can help you make a decision that aligns with your needs.

Communicating with your boyfriend about your feelings might also help. Let him know that while you appreciate his concern, you need to prioritize your mental health. Maybe you can find a compromise, like spending part of the day together and then having some alone time.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people find the holidays challenging for various reasons. It’s okay to set boundaries and create new traditions that bring you comfort and joy.

Wishing you peace and a stress-free holiday season. Take care of yourself.

anita

Dear ADrianne:
You are welcome. IF isolating is what you need to do during any part of CHristmas, for your mental health then isolating is a good idea!

I wish you a no pressure, quiet, free to do as you wish Christmas and thank you for your wishes for me.

Anita

Hi Adrianne

The season can be a challenge with all the expectations and maybe feeling like your missing out on the ‘magic’ and joy, especially when the past is in the present. Not the most comfortable place to be in my own experience.

As Anita suggests its ok to ask for space to take care of oneself and to pause.

While feeling anxious at these times I like take a moment and ponder the Christmas tree. How the ‘Ever Green’ represents the Eternal Now and from which we hang the ornaments of our memories and hopes. How the lights is caught by those ornaments and cast shadows and color on those memories. Perhaps seeing memories in this way, changing with the light and perspective, we find the way to release them or let them be, their is no exception in that silence.
It feels to me a reflection bitter sweet, the cry that is a laugh the laugh that is a cry.

I ponder the wrapped gifts placed under the protection of the ‘Ever Green’. I wonder… The promise of the planting of a creative possibility, a gift I could never have realize was within and only needed to be allowed, unwrapped… The promise of the hidden and unknown gift, can that be enough? The unknown possibility what flower might spring bring. The Promise and protection of the ‘Ever Green’, that Spring will follow Winter their is no need to know.

A meditation by Richard Wagamese came to mind.
“I am my silence. I am not the busyness of my thoughts or the daily rhythm of my actions. I am not the stuff that constitutes my world. I am not my talk. I am not my actions. I am my silence. I am the consciousness that perceives all these things.
When I go to my consciousness, to that great pool of silence that observes the intricacies of my life, I am aware that I am me.
I take a little time each day to sit in silence so that I can move outward in balance into the great clamour of living.”

I wish you true peace