Hi all,

This is my first time on here and was directed by a friend to help me through my current situation. I’ll start from the beginning (seems logical) and then tell you how things are now, hopefully you can help me sort through my own feelings. I’m from Australia but was in the US for work at the start of this year. Through a series of completely random occurrences, I met a girl that I instantly fell for. We only had 24 hours to spend together before we had to part, but it was clear there was something there. We then spent an insane amount of time messaging and calling each other from that moment on and in the end, she came to visit me elsewhere on my trip a couple of weeks later. We spent the most amazing 4 days together – everything was perfect. We knew that we had hard times ahead when I went home, but we had a plan in place.

I went back to Australia and we continued to talk every day over Skype for 2-3 hours a day at least. The conversations were great, we would discuss our future together, how we would make it work, how much we missed each other, as well as all the random facts about our days. The complications began when someone she had previously had feelings for, but who had told her he wasn’t at all interested, decided to tell her that now he wanted to be with her. Not surprisingly, this came after she had told everyone about me and how happy she was (everyone always wants what they can’t have). This made things difficult for her, as they were close friends, and he spent all of their time together telling her to leave me and be with him. She was honest with me and we discussed it at length, but she repeatedly told me that she had moved on from him and wanted to be with me, that I had nothing to worry about. Everything was so fantastic, that after 6 weeks apart, I decided that I couldn’t be away from her any longer. I quit my job, packed up my things and moved to be with her. The first 48 hours was amazing, we were so happy to be together.

Then the stress of the situation started to get to her a little bit. She is finishing grad school and had insane time pressures on getting a thesis written, the other guy was making things exceptionally difficult for her and having just come to a completely new place where I didn’t know anyone else or have anything else to do, I was quite dependent on her. It made things really tough. After a week, it was clear that the pressure was starting to weigh her down. We made a plan that I would leave for a while to give her space while she finished her writing and then talk about everything after that. Since I have left, we haven’t really talked much – other than once on my birthday, which was a really nice chat (just like all of the chats we had while I was in Australia). To me, it is really clear that it was the situation that caused the problem and not anything to do with the relationship. She is moving in a bit over a month to a completely new city, where I will be based as well, and we will begin to start a life together, rather than me just intruding on her existing life. I think this will be perfect.

The question is – should I be worried that there is more to it than this? Is the fact it stressed her after a week a bad sign? The fact that we haven’t talked much since I left? I am crazy about this girl, I want to spend my life with her….

Help? Apologies for the long story!