September 20, 2013 at 11:04 am #42511LiveSimpleParticipant
Here’s a little bit of background information. I’ve had a history of anxiety/depression since I was 15 years old. At one point, I did take anti-depressants, however, I’m not currently taking any.
I’m now in my early 20’s and am worried if what I’m experiencing is normal. For years, I have had extreme highs and lows of depression(but never suicidal.)Some days are better than others. On days where I feel happy, my life might not be “perfect” but I feel as if nothing can get in the way of stopping me from what I have to do. I am able to overlook the negatives and be positive. My anxiety is also very little on these “good” days. I feel normal.
Now, when I have bad days I don’t know what necessarily triggers them. I find myself able to cry in a drop of a hat and am extremely senstive. My confidence drops a significant amount and I just feel overall miserable with my life. When I feel depressed, I just want to stay in bed all day. It affects my concentration in school and at work. I’m conflicted because I can’t find out the reason why I am truly unhappy with my life.
I consider myself to be an intuitive person, so I’ve been journaling to help. It bothers me that I don’t know what I can do to make myself not feel so up and down. I can’t predict if I’m going to have a “good” or “bad” day.
I would greatly appreciate any advice as to what I should do.September 20, 2013 at 2:02 pm #42522Rose TattooParticipant
That sounds really scary. I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I’ve had my share of issues, and I’d recommend maybe tracking what you eat and drink, what meds/supplements you take and the dose, how much exercise you get, how many hours you sleep (and when you go to sleep and wake up), and any major emotional things that happen (bad or good) every day for maybe 3-4 weeks to see if you can see any patterns. There could be things you don’t think about that could be affecting your mood, like caffeine or alcohol or cigarettes, getting more or less sleep or exercise, certain foods, or even seeing or interacting with certain people, that might affect your mood. Even if you don’t see a pattern, you may decide to go see a therapist at some point, and the information might be helpful. There are even smartphone apps where you can track things pretty easily. Good luck!September 20, 2013 at 6:20 pm #42544ladybugParticipant
Your story is exactly the same as mine. I am 22 and have experienced those feelings and high/lows since I was 14. I always felt like maybe I am just not the kind of person who can be happy and have a positive future. I always found it difficult to imagine a future where I was happy I never trusted myself enough. HOWEVER after about 4 years of talking to a counsellor, staying away from substances, maintaining regular exercise and sleep and taking, what I considered my saving grace after coming off anti-depressants St Johns Wort. You can get it at supermarkets or pharmacy’s its in capsule form and it will help you naturally settle your anxiety. The ups and downs and anxiety etc all go hand in hand its like a merry go round you can’t get off or control. I was diagnosed with Cyclothymia which is a mild form of bi polar, but I do not believe this accurate. Feeling as you described has a lot to do with what has happened to you and around you growing up. I’ve gotten to the point where I can feel the lows coming and know that I just need to ride them out and that they are only this moment and it will pass. This and the other precautions I mentioned above has really reduced the frequency and lengths of lows. I know its horrible feeling like whenever you are happy its not going to last and your just waiting for the next low. You need to trust yourself and take control and most importantly don’t get too disappointed when you ‘relapse’ into negative/ low behavior.
Hope this helps somewhat, don’t get too down because you can actually get better you just need to take control and be strong.