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Consecutive lost of love ones

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  • #43233
    Kaypee
    Participant

    Hello everyone. I am new to this site. It such a blessing that I found this site. I have been through alot this last five years of my life. my dad passed away the 1st year, then my husband cheated on me a year after. A year after separation, I got pregnant by a new boyfriend and our baby had multiple organ problem and died after birth last year. The lost after the other specially my baby put me severe depression, jealousy and low self esteem. My ex boyfriend wasn’t supportive cause he also dealt with the death of our babe on his own. Now, he just don’t want me to be part of his life and blamed me for his depression which he had even before I came in his life but i guess he was using medication for it. I didn’t want to let go of him initially cause I always wanted us to fulfill our plan of having our own family. But eventually agreed with him. He also said he resents me and his sister who was nice to me before is acting rude towards me. It’s been two months but we were still staying together because of financial reasons. He is in vacation right now. We said goodbye prior to him leaving cause when he comes back I’ll be moving to a new province. I still help him out if he is asking favour from me the past two months. I just want peace of mind and be healed from all this heart break. My brain is not helpful at all. I tried all that has been suggested on this site. It helped me but I also always end up to feeling this way. plus seeing him in his fb, happy and moved on didn’t help. He still message me ”just checkin in on me” for a couple of times since he left a week ago. Seems My friends are getting tired of hearing me out about my sentiments. I just want to know why he still communicating with me? I am just feeling lost right now. I am gonna be building my life in a new place from scratch. Sorry for the long post. I just want this to get out of my chest. I just want to start moving on and continue with it without any setbacks.
    thank you for your time in reading my long post.

    #43239
    Matt
    Participant

    Kaypee,

    I’m so sorry for the losses you’ve been through, and suffering through losing a child, parent and two partners in such a short time would be trying for anyone. When we have grief, its important to be extra nourishing to ourselves, such as spending extra time being kind and gentle to our mind and body. For instance, you ask “why does he contact me?”, but it might be more gentle to yourself to ask “what is happening in my mind and heart when I read his messages, look at his FB?” and so forth. His side is a mystery, and remains unknown, but you deserve to be happy, and finding the activities that bring you happiness might be a great place to invest your efforts.

    For instance, perhaps your heart would heal and soften from going on walks in nature, watching comedy and laughing, taking a bath with candles, meditating, or creating some art. It can be so terribly hard to lose loved ones, either to death or disinterest, and our tender hearts need to be reminded of the warmth and light of the world. It takes time and many hugs, many tears. That’s ok, it just means that there is a lot of meaning to the relationship we lost. So we cry, give and receive hugs, and slowly, with time, heal the wounds. Namaste, sister, I hope you find love and light.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #43251
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Your most important relationship is with yourself, Kaypee! And it sounds to me like you are failing yourself, unfortunately… :/ So, what can you do about it!? Well, plenty actually 🙂 Please, check out this thread for starters: Are Your FEELINGS making your LIFE miserable? And then we’ll go from there!

    Thank you for sharing your struggles 🙂

    #43302
    Kaypee
    Participant

    Thanks Matt and Alexey for the inspiring inputs. As soon as I moved to my new place, I know I’ll be able to concentrate with myself. Nourish and heal my self. Thank you and I hope you continue to share your knowledge and hearts to people like me. Take care.

    #43321
    Alexey Sunly
    Participant

    Our pleasure, Kaypee 😀

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