Hi Kat,

I think admitting your stuck is the beginning of change. There may be more steps to come before you know which way you are headed. It’s funny I’m almost 50 years old, and I remember feeling stuck at many points in my life. I been through a great many things that others would consider traumatic. I wanted to be a singer when I was 18. I wanted to go to college but didn’t have grades and didn’t have the money. I wanted to be a writer but couldn’t spell to save my life. I graduated in May with a masters degree after 6 years of constant studying and am beginning my career as a therapist. I joined a choir at my church two months ago, and I love singing. I am working on writing short stories because I love writing. (the last 6 years taught me to spell better and they invented this thing called a spell checker lol). When I was 18, I held myself back from doing all the things I wanted to because I was afraid of all the things I felt I was not. Today I follow my passion.

I am doing what I love, and I am not as worried about how it will work out. I focus on the experience I am having in my life. When I get worried about taking a turn in my life, I tell myself its an experiment and I can change directions if I feel it is not working out. I found, after 15 years in a domestic violence relationship, there is time to try out new things even after you life implodes. We do not have to live life in a cookie=cutter way. There is time to do many things in our life and we might have a plan, but we need to cultivate resilience in ourselves. I sometimes think lack of confidence in our own abilities are what hold us back the most. Along with fear of making a mistake.

I was an extreme planner. I had a plan for everything, and I can tell you, not one thing I ever planned turned out how I expected it. I have finally learned to go with the flow and be excited about not knowing how things will turn out. I use everything as a learning experience. I have more confidence that I will be able to handle whatever comes my way. I still get scared, and I still worry over some of the bigger things. When that begins to happen, I breath slower, take it one step at a time and let go (and look at what I am learning from the process of living). By the way, I am the mother of two very wonderful sons. Both were not planned. Had I not taken the turns I did I would not have their love and encouragement. Both of them tell me how proud of me they are for going back to school. I remind them its o.k. to take a turn in life that didn’t workout the way you wanted it to. I hope I have done my best to cultivate in them resilience. Stay open to your opportunities. You will figure it all out as you go.

I wish you all the best in your life journey. Which ever road you choose, know that life is a continuous stream of opportunities.