My childhood memories is filled with words like ” you are fat, you are ugly”, a constant reminding that i was not good at anything, for anything. Feelings of complete worthlessness. Used food to deal with my pain. Sexual abuse that made me feel so ashamed and guilty and taking blame for it because it was my fault. I never wanted to be be seen, hated drawing attention to myself for fear of rejection, not being good enough.
But then i read this qoute
“At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.”
Christine Mason Miller
So i am done being the victim, i am done letting these baseless voices handicap my life. I am important, i have unmeasurable treasure to offer. My story is not going to end with fear of living, i am spreading my wings and taking flight, i might crash land a few times but thats ok, i am on a journey of self discovery, growth and i have not been more excited about living in my 27 years of life!!
I have been on a mission of personal growth, letting go and becoming more understanding! I have lost a lot and over come a lot of adversity in my life, but somehow always dwelled on the loss, discounting my achievements. As a man I was very rough around the exterior and never let anyone in. So much so that I lost the love of my life because of it. It took the loss of this incredible woman I love dearly to understand that I had not come full circle as a man nor would I ever unless I let go, forgave the ones that hurt me and loved myself first. I am still learning but I can say finding myself, even if its in its infancy, has made me a much better person and it has reflected in every aspect of my life. Unfortunately, that girl is not in my life, but thanks to her, I am know the man she saw inside of me when we met and I now have a chance of true happiness!
Sandra, good for you! So brave, sharing your story like this, and standing up for yourself. I just shared a post on the site last week titled “Change Your Life By Changing Your Mind About Yourself” – did you happen to read it? You are the embodiment of what I was talking about in that post! Changing your mind about what you’re worthy of is the biggest catalyst for change. I’m so excited for you!!! 🙂