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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Mark 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #196957

    FFTOLA
    Participant

    Hi Guys,

    I'm coming back to this forum as I need your great pieces of advice. A few months ago (5 months) I blocked a someone on social media that I really care about. We were in contact for 6 years and more often this past year and that's when I started developing feelings for her. Even though she has a boyfriend I felt like attracted to her and I let her know I liked her. She never answered and I felt like the only times that she reached out was when she didn't have her boyfriend's attention. On Valentine's day, on their anniversary, her birthday (asking me what I would have chosen for her…). After I opened her to her I got the silent treatment and I was a bit confused…I unfriended her and blocked her in hope that it was the best thing to do and that it would help me move on. Well, unfortunately it did not help much as I could not stop thinking about her.

    A few days ago, I posted a picture of me hanging out with a very attractive girl and my crush's best friend liked it 48 hours later (you have to scroll down down really far at that point…) and I can't refrain from thinking this might be because my crush asked her to do so.

    I've been wondering if I should now unblock her but I have also realized that unblocking someone might be harder than blocking him/her in the first place. I'm really scared to come across needy and that she doesn't have attraction for me now that she saw me hanging out with an attractive girl.

    What would you guys do if you were in my position? I have heard that if someone really cares about you and realized that they made a mistake by letting you go they would reach out to you no matter if they're blocked.

    #196965

    Mark
    Participant

    FFTOLA,

    Have you ever met this crush in person?  How old are you?

    What I would do in your position?  I would find someone that I can have a real, in person relationship.  I would go out and participate in real life rather than online like join clubs, find Meetup groups to do things with, enjoy things that you like and meet others who like the same.

    I see that a lot of us spend too much time obsessing about what other people are doing and what they are thinking of rather than going out enjoying life and people.  Look to make friends and the girlfriend will show up when you are out having a life of your own.

    Mark

    #197041

    FFTOLA
    Participant

    Hi Mark,

     

    Thanks for your answer. We met in person and spend 1 year on the same campus. We lost contact as I move back to Europe for a while and reconnected kind of by accident 2 years ago. Social media was just a way to keep in touch since she lives on the East Coast. I've met a lot of girls recently and I've tried to focus on what I could potentially build with them but I just doesn't feel complete.

     

    Therefore I chose to open up to her and got ghosted. Now that I have blocked her for 5 months I feel like she will never reach out and that is too late.

    #197055

    Mark
    Participant

    FFTOLA,

    I would let go of that girl.  Keep her blocked and don't check if your social media is being checked or not.  Move on.

    I'm not sure what you mean by “too late.”  It sounds like she never was that into you from how you described her behavior.

    Keep focusing on making your own life happier, not only through meeting other girls but just in general with hobbies, books, friends (male and female).

    What you said was telling, “I  just doesn't feel complete.”  It is up to us to feel complete for ourselves.  We cannot depend on others to do that for us.  That is co-dependence.

    Mark

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