Hi, all! This is my first post here, and I was looking for some insight.

See, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years about three weeks ago. It was mutual at the time, but he’s since discovered that he cared about me more than he realized at the time. He was a good boyfriend, but pretty much just that (he hardly did anything out of his comfort zone, didn’t seem to put that much effort into going the extra mile once in a while, etc). Through a decent amount of our relationship, I knew something was off, and I also knew that I wanted more experience before I settled down. I’m only 23 and have had just two boyfriends (one for 3 months, and the other being 2 years). My mom tells me that she wished she “tried on more shoes” (As in, she wishes she dated around to get to know herself better and what she wants out of life more) when she was younger, because now she’s stuck in a bad marriage, and I don’t want that to happen to me or whoever I end up with.

Anyways, my recent ex and I aren’t the most compatible ex-couple out there (obviously). I’m too sensitive, he is a bit too insensitive/has no filter/cannot give me the loving words I need when I’m down (without a fight); Our humor is rather different; and we have hardly any crossovers in hobbies and interests (we like maybe two of the same TV shows…). I realize there is more to a relationship than having lots of things in common, but we hardly have anything in common! I could see this failing apart in the future, especially since we are both emotionally incompatible and don’t have the same humor as well. If it was one out of these three things that was wrong, I could see it potentially working out.

So, eager for this new beginning, I jumped right into the dating game and ended up with a guy I really like. I’m not sure if it will go anywhere, but every experience can teach us a thing or two about ourselves, and that’s what I want. This guy I’m dating is definitely different from my ex, and I love it. We actually have some things in common, so it’s a neat change- It’s a nice, guilt-free change and I can’t wait to see where it ends up (whether we end up together or not- it just leads to another new beginning and lessons). However, now my ex wants to get back with me. He says he has done some reflecting, and realizes where he went wrong. He now understands what I want from him when I’m sad, and now he knows that it doesn’t matter where we go- as long as we go together (he is a homebody as well, so this was a pretty big deal for him to say). He wants to treat me the best way possible. Obviously, he can’t do much about the hobbies or interests, but he wants to be my companion now, wherever I end up going, and that’s something I’ve always wanted from him. I actually do believe him. He’s the most honest guy I know (which has gotten him into trouble a few times….) and he is a genuine person. His big argument is that we broke up too hastily, which may be true. We were both too upset and confused during the break up itself, that we didn’t know how to fix it. But now that I’m settled into the single/dating life again, I’m not sure if I want to try again- for now anyway. I want to try again after I learn more about what I want for myself. I want to try living life away for him for a while. But I feel terrible putting myself first like that. I think he does deserve a second chance right away, but I just don’t want to yet. And I feel like a horrible person for saying and thinking that. I trust that he has changed, but I don’t know if I’m ready to be with him again. Especially since it is very possible that he will get tired of doing things that aren’t for him- just to keep our relationship going. I’m not sure if it’s worth it or fair for the both of us.

Now, I know the ultimate decision will come from within myself, but any insight, advice, quotes, etc would be super helpful!!!