I honestly don’t know where to begin. I am 30 year old grad student who recently moved home with my grandmother to assist me with my two boys. This passing summer, I went through a series of events including depression. Because I am a single parent, going to school and working part-time as a professor’s assistant, the plan was that she would help with the boys’ and I would save to buy a house this coming spring. I bought out of my rent in October under the guise that this situation would be one of support, its been everything but. Just to mention, I have nearly no relationship with any other family members, I find my mother, older sister and extended family to be very intrusive who criticize tirelessly about anything and everything I do. I shy away because 99.9% of the time it leads to violatile arguments and eventually my being depressed because my attempts at mothering, schooling, relationships and career aren’t fitting their standards. My relationship with my grandmother has always been the opposite, she’s been my safe haven and best friend since I was little.
So I had no reason not to trust that the decision I made was in nothing but the best interest for my children and I.

45 days into living with my grandmother, she fell ill which required her to be hospitalized and eventually have surgery. Everything spiraled right after. My sister who always treats and talks to me condescendingly phones me and blames me for over burdening my grandmother with caring for my children and warned me to quit my dream of finishing grad school and get a “real” job to find a nanny for my “brats”. Plus I should take the time off from school and work to provide after-care for my grandmother. My uncle phoned in from Seattle, instead of coming to see my grandmother while she was in ICU. Not that it was much of an issue considering we leave on the east coast, but he’s concern wasn’t for his own mother but to inquire if whether I was evicted from my apartment, serving as the reason I chose to move back in. I never cried more in my life then in that entire two weeks she was in the hospital, only to find out that it was my grandmother who I trusted, who is my touch-stone sitting around spreading gossip to people I have no relationship with. To make it all worse, during her recovery, she decided not to return to work. Which put me in the position of having to pick up things financially. Its been really hard having to manage my bills plus hers and her prescriptions, as people like my sister and mother refuse to help. I’m heartbroken and financially strapped, plus my grandmother and I aren’t on speaking terms. I know its hard not speaking to someone I live with and someone I was once close to, but its hard to trust her not knowing what she’ll make up next or if she’s already made up something about me to feed to others. I’m severely depressed and I’m trying to not let it get to me. Especially so because, I lash out on others, including my boyfriend and my kids. I’ve pushed up my move out date to next month because I can’t take living on edge, with resentment and around negative people. It makes me tremendously sad that its all the family I have but I don’t know what else to do.

Any advice as to what I should do is welcomed.

Thanks in advance. SugarBee