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This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Valora 1 week, 4 days ago.

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  • #267171

    Reina
    Participant

    years back ive had friends come to me easy, i was always in a relationship and was happy. I was always surrounded by people and wanted and felt loved by them, but then ive cut off my group of friends because i felt like we werent on the same vibrational level, i wanted to get to a certain place in life, they didn’t understand my hustle and they were holding me back, i ve also been single since then and every man i meet just wants to get into my pants, everyone is scared of commitment these days. For the past two years ive had no friends, ive become less social, and i can never find the right man, ive also become extremely desperate to the point where it shows. Im desperate to have friends im desperate to have a man in my life but nothing is working for me, i cant even sleep anymore i hate laying down and closing my eyes because my mind just spirals down and i keep thinking of why this is happening to me? What is life trying to teach me? What am I doing wrong? How did i become this lonely and desperate? I want to be happy with my life i dont want to feel like something is missing, i dont want to feel desperate and i dont want to be lonely. I used to be so content with my life even if I had no one i didnt care i was happy and slept peacefully but i guess i just got tired of being this lonely. Social media is also very toxic because i see how people are always surrounded by friends and loved ones and I have no one, i keep wondering how i got this low, how my vibrations just dropped and everything spiraled down to rock bottom. I feel stuck and i dont know what to do. I want my old life back, but i dont at the same time. I want a better one, i cant live alone, and im very picky with who i let habg around me..

    #267191

    Valora
    Participant

    What was it about your previous friends that made you feel like they weren’t on the same vibrational level?

    I think the lesson here might be to work on being happy with yourself alone until you get your own vibration back on the right track. A vibration of desperation and lack tends to push things away to create more lack. It’s important to really work on being truly content at an energy level. Do you have any hobbies you really enjoy?  Maybe you could take some classes or do some activities and that would be a good way to meet new people and get back into being more active socially while also being therapeutic. I love the painting classes that seem to be everywhere right now. And I used to do bowling leagues, which was actually a lot of fun.

    In the meantime, I would try to not be concerned about getting your old life back but better at the moment and just focus on doing things that make you feel happy now, literally anything that you truly enjoy doing… reading, creating art or music, going for walks, etc, without focusing on the things you don’t like at the moment.  There’s a blog, too, that I love called “Life Made to Order” that gives really good, no-nonsense advice on getting back on track that I’ve found helpful, too.

    Also, be careful to not be too picky. It’s definitely good to not let anyone toxic into your space, but sometimes I think when we are too picky up front, we tend to not give people a chance and can sort of “judge a book by its cover,” so to speak. Some people are closed off at first and that can give off a vibe of resistance, but they are truly great people to have around once they open up, so just make sure you give people a chance to show themselves before you decide that you don’t want to let them hang around you.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 5 days ago by  Valora.
    #267201

    Reina
    Participant

    my old friends were always jealous of me rather than supportive, jealous of my art, my makeup line, the clothes i made, and whenever I couldn’t make plans with them because i had to study for a test they would start arguments. I think you’re right, i need yo learn to be happy by myself and that a vibe of lack creates more lack, i just dont know how to do that will i will read the blog you mentioned and start reading books again. Thank you so much

    #267237

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Reina:

    You wrote that years ago you were happy, “always surrounded by people and .. felt loved by them”, but now you are alone and lonely, ignored by people as if you are not present in the room at all (stated in your newer thread), “have  no friends..  no  one”, and you are desperate  for  friends and a boyfriend who will want  more than your body.

    You wrote: “I want my old  life back, but I don’t  at the  same time. I want a better  one”-

    If you want, I will try to  help you figure out how to  have a better  life, but it  will not be easy for you to figure it  out, it will not be an easy or pain-free process. If you want  to engage with me, then consider  my first question to you: what  is it that  you don’t want in your old life?

    anita

    #267309

    Reina
    Participant

    I honestly dont know.. i still feel lost and confused

    #267325

    Valora
    Participant

    my old friends were always jealous of me rather than supportive, jealous of my art, my makeup line, the clothes i made, and whenever I couldn’t make plans with them because i had to study for a test they would start arguments. I think you’re right, i need yo learn to be happy by myself and that a vibe of lack creates more lack, i just dont know how to do that will i will read the blog you mentioned and start reading books again. Thank you so much

    Yep, I definitely don’t blame you at all for losing them, then.  Those kind of people tend to be toxic and that’s the last thing anyone needs.

    I would honestly just start with reading helpful blogs and books. Do a Google search for anything you don’t know how to do and just start reading.  At the beginning of the year, I was trying hard to get over a really devastating breakup and figured out that I had attachment issues and really needed to learn to let go of people, things, and any need for control, so I literally Googled “how to let go”  and “how to not need closure” and “how to not need control” and just read blog after blog until it started to click in my head and I was able to figure out the things that worked for me to be able to achieve what I wanted to with that.  It’s okay that you feel lost and confused right now, but just reading advice on how to solve the problems that you’re feeling will eventually help a ton with your confusion and help to get you back on the path that you want to be on. Maybe start with Googling “How to be happy with my own company” and just start reading some of the things that pop up. Eventually you’ll find something that speaks to you.

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