I’m kinda disappointed and not really sure if I put myself here. 

Im from Mexico and went to Cabo for vacations, met this American guy two days before we both left Cabo. We hang out, and didn’t have anything sexual on the first night. The next day he invited me and my friend over to his hotel pool. We went there and he confessed me how nervous he was to come talk to me the first night, and about being nervous before I arrived to his pool that day. Everything went very well, we got in the ocean, pool, had some beers and then went to dinner to end up finally in his room. Excellent sexual chemistry. The next day he drives me back to my hotel and tells me he will see me in a few weeks, which surprised me because it’s a 3 hr plane ride. We keep on texting and FaceTiming for two weeks and he tells me he already told his parents and closer sister about me, he showed my pictures to his best friends family, etc. And some romantic things as well. He visits me three weeks after we met, but I get panic attacks many times which make it impossible for me to talk, like not a word could come out of my mouth and I didn’t know why. Still good sexual chemistry but he didn’t really get to know me or my ideas, thoughts, dreams, or any deep talk because of my insecurity and nerves. He leaves and i kinda feel disappointed on myself for not showing who i really am, and expecting him to not want to see me again. He then tells me I can come visit him anytime, and after five times of him insisting, he buys my plane ticket only two weeks after he came. This made me think he couldn’t wait to see me again. Also he acts interested in me, tells me he wants to get to know me more, my childhood, my goals, etc and wants one on one time with me. As days go by he starts acting a bit colder everyday but still nice to me. By this point I had already demonstrated that I’m a jealous person, which he seemed to not like and understand. Then I come visit from Wednesday to Sunday and everything goes great from Wednesday to Friday. On Friday I got drunk, then we started talking about relationships and he tells me this was like a fling, that he wasn’t thinking about the future but just enjoying, that he never thought me coming to visit him would confuse me. Of course I cried, we go to sleep, the next morning is so awkward but then his friends arrive and everything’s ok, we go out and he’s acting nice again, holding my hand and hugging me in front of his friends. I had more drink again and brought up the subject from last night and also got jealous about one of his friends, so he tells me neither me nor him are ready for a relationship and that he would never have a long distance ever again (he had done it before and it didn’t work), also that he feels nothing romantic between us anymore. So I get upset again, we go to sleep and the next day (Sunday) awkward morning again, then we went to the beach and laid on the sand and just talked about life, everything good. When I asked him if this was the last time we would see each other he only said: don’t say that. 

Then he took me to the airport and hooded my hand all the time, asked me for kisses, and gave me a goodbye hug and kiss. 

I know I fucked it up on Friday and Saturday with my jealousy, but what I don’t get is if this had always been a fling why did he tell his family about me, why did he come visit me less than a month before we met, then why did he bring me to visit him only two weeks after he came here, and all this questions that run through my mind. Did he never think of something serious? Or did he use to but my jealousy acting since the distance make him distant?