Did I push her away?

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    I matched with a woman on a dating app. We ended up going on five dates, and texted everyday for a month.

    There were signs that she wanted something long term and liked me.

    – She would ask about my past relationships
    – She would initiate physical contact

    On the fourth date we spent Christmas Eve together and had sex. She said “you can sleep with other women, you just have to wear a condom with me” so it made me think she doesn’t want anything serious — I told her I only want to sleep with her and no one else , and she replied that she she likes me a lot and that i’m the only person she’s talking to currently.

    On the fifth date she revealed to me she has a sugar daddy, it’s just pictures not sex. I was in shock, and she said she could tell by my face that i was upset. I told her i didn’t care , she said “i would stop talking to him for you” and i said i don’t care. The date went on as usual and I went home.

    I would always text her goodnight after i left her apartment , but I didn’t that night. The following morning she said good morning  , and i did not respond. I responded 8 hours later and was very short with her.

    I felt guilty so the next day, i sent her a text saying i miss her, and i hope she is having a good day , and she sent a rejection text “Hey i’ve been thinking about some things and i don’t want to lead you on, i don’t think i’m feeling what you are feeling and i don’t want things to develop further and have hurt feelings”. I tried to contact her the next day, but she pretty much just said the same thing that her feelings just aren’t developing and it’s nothing I did.

    Here is the reality of things, it was only a month. People lose feelings sometimes, especially in such an early relationship. We were never official, so I didn’t feel right about telling her what to do regarding the sugar daddy thing. I could have had better communication

    I just want to ask, do you think she rejected me before I could reject her?  Did I push her away?
    Did she genuinely just lose feelings?



    Dear Robert:

    I just want to ask, do you think she rejected me before I could reject her?  Did I push her away? Did she genuinely just lose feelings?“- I don’t know. Reads to me that she is not well emotionally, that she is confused, conflicted and thinks little of herself, and that it’s not likely that a relationship with her would have worked out because of her mental state.

    I understand you withdrawing from her temporarily after she told you about having a sugar daddy, given that you were emotionally attached to her by that point.




    Men instinctively want a woman who is not seeing more than one person at a time. And since she hid the fact she had a sugar daddy, whether there was sex or not, it was like a betrayal. You could not hide your disappointment by not testing her good nite. That was you rejecting her. She read your feelings. And saw that there was no way you could get over it. You having made a decision to stay with her. She rejected you. She is not going to give up someone with money and who can give her things she wants along with experiences that comes from having plenty of money. Remember her suggestion that you could sleep with other women?

    To answer your question, you presented your feelings even though you do not think you did. She, having a clear mind, also made the decision to end it. Her situation is not what you are looking for and will cause more issues in the future.

    You’re lucky to have met someone who gave you a chance. Now you live and love. It is time to grow.

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