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Diet or Body Acceptance?

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  • #58839
    Inky
    Participant

    OK, I’ll try to keep this brief, but I could go on and on about this (and I’m sure I’m not alone!!)

    This year I find myself going back and forth between wanting to lose weight, actually losing weight, liking myself just the way I am, gaining weight, not liking myself just the way I am, you get the picture. I’m in my 40s, so I have a “This is the time to look fabulous before it’s too late!” thing going. Then I look in the mirror and *sometimes!* think, “If this is as good as it gets, I can live with this! Dare I say, I look good!” Then I’ll have a disastrous, post worthy thing happen that makes me say, “That’s it! DIET!”

    Truth: Moderation makes me Fat. Sometimes I’m OK with that! I believe in the HAES (Health at Every Size) movement.

    But because Moderation makes me Fat, and even Whole Organic Food in Moderation makes me Fat, I do Paleo, Raw Vegan and/or Fasting. (Basically no sugars or grains). I could live that way more easily if, TBH, I was a hermit who lives alone. I have kids, friends, events and Holidays. Little things trip me up, like, MIL is in the hospital (she’s OK) and I had to have a cheeseburger (limited options, late night, stress). Or DD’s pre-prom party, then I have to drive DS to Chess and it’s a late night, SubWay sandwiches is The Option.

    OK, Solutions, Thoughts???

    #58840
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hey. Let me return the favor of helping people out. Personally I have never struggled with my weight. While I had insecurities of not being curvy or having delicate hands, I eventually got over them. If your goal is losing weight, don’t do diet fads the way celebs do them. What works for one person may not work for you. Make small goals. Example: I’ll try to lose five pounds this week. Don’t restrict your diet, otherwise you might end up with a diagnosed eating disorder. Speak to your doctor about healthy options. Gaining weight? East as much carbs as you can. Fats too. Now that I gave you advice, I have good news. There’s an event where you can find your dream date. It’s in two weeks. There’s going to be snacks, wine, the works. Basically, it’s one of those social gigs where you can meet someone you’re attracted to.:-)

    #58841
    Inky
    Participant

    My DH would get very nervous if I left him in a couple weeks to fly/drive to an unknown location to find a Dream Date/Someone I’m attracted to. LOL

    But the small goal of 5 pounds in a week without restricting my diet sounds great!! 😉

    Oh to be 20-something again! 🙂

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
    #58844
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    Well, if moderation makes you fat, then you might need to either check your definition of moderation or your definition of fat 😉

    My personal thoughts on body acceptance is that it does not mean that “I now have to accept that I look like this for the rest of my life”. Nothing is permanent. I think of body acceptance as accepting what the reality is right now, and loving yourself anyway. Or at the very least not hating or shaming yourself. Because what good would that do? I think that the self-shaming can even cause overeating or binging in some people.

    You can still have goals and you can strive to be what you want to be. You just have to be realistic about it; both in how it can be done and what will you achieve after you reach that goal. It requires focus and knowledge to change the eating patterns without getting obsessed or stressed about it. Stress makes losing weight much, much harder. Eating a hamburger on the go one night is not going to ruin a diet. The obsessive stressing about it might.

    I don’t see anything wrong with striving for a particular type of body, if it is done with appreciation for the reality. Reality in what actually makes a person lose fat (because I’m assuming that’s what you want to lose, not just weight), reality in what is actually possible for you to do and reality in what losing that fat will mean (will you truly be satisfied after you reach your goal, or are you actually searching for some fulfillment that losing various amounts of body fat can never satisfy).

    #58847
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Wow and Wow Aiyana and The Ruminant

    So happy to see you back, The Ruminant. You shouldn’t disappear every few days as we start missing your insights. Hey, you are sounding more and more like Osho. Do you listen to him ? Just curious.

    Hey Inky, couldn’t agree more with The Ruminant. In my experience, it is not the food in moderation, which makes us have yo yo issues with weight. It is what we think about weight issues and the stress we create by feeling guilty for indulging in food. No further comment to add to the acceptance question.

    You have mentioned Bhagawad Gita before in your posts so I am assuming that you have read it. It says do all actions without expecting any outcome and then your action will not yield any sorrows or issues. So far so good in my world with that philosophy :). I love food and eating and I try and burn it off as well with some exercise + meditation.

    On a lighter and more practical note: Hey, have you thought of trialling Chinese acupuncture ? It is great at balancing out the hormones and stress associated with guilty pleasures.

    And I would also like to recommend the following audiobook to all the ladies on this post if you have not already checked it out:

    – The empowering women gift collection by Louise Hay, Susan Jeffers, Dr Christiane Northrup and Caroline Myss

    It is approx. 5 hours of pure bliss and women power to the max. I think you guys will enjoy it.

    Have fun ladies.

    J

    #58872
    The Ruminant
    Participant

    @jasmine-3 That’s a bit scary 🙂 Though I’m ready to accept all the flashy cars as gifts… 😛 I have read a bit of Osho’s writings and some of it has been helpful, but I’m not a fangirl. I am a bit skeptical of his character, which is why it’s scary if I sound like him! 🙂

    #58884
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hey The Ruminant. Why scary ? But no worries, you can have a new yellow coloured Porsche as an apology 🙂 Zooooooooooooooooommmmmmm zooooommmmmmm

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