Hi,

I need some insight about my parents. My father and mother drive each other crazy. My father has a short temper and whenever I look at either of them, I start feeling nervous and sad. My father constantly comes to me and wants to “talk serious” about separation and moving away from my mother. However, they both need each other financially and I know my father cannot live alone. They always come to me and want to talk about their problems with the other party. But honestly, I feel anxiety and just want to run away. I do not like the feeling of my dad saying mean and negative things about my mom. And I don’t like it when she unloads all her feelings about him onto me either. But I really don’t think they see how negatively those words affect me. I can’t help my parents. They do not seek professional help. I sometimes feel like they almost subconsciously revel in hating each other. But it makes me so depressed…some days I want nothing more than have loving parents that cannot look past each other’s flaws and accept each other.

Another thing that worries me is that I will become like them one day. Although they both have positive attributes and are great people in many ways, I can tell they both have very deep seated emotional and maybe psychological issues. It breaks my heart when I see them the way they are sometimes.

I have started to meditate about a year ago, and I really think it has allowed me to step back on my situation and let myself become calmer and more accepting. I realized a few months ago, it’s not my responsibility for them to have a good relationship. Also meditation has taught me to realize my destiny and my emotions are in my own hands. I see in my parents a lack of control, a real loss of freedom. And all I can do is be supportive but at the same time distance myself from their negativity. I also feel like this is one of the things holding me back from truly being able to let go. I can’t let go of this idea that my family is so dysfunctional and I will one day inevitably become like that.

I think just writing this has helped me feel a lot better, but I would really like some perspective from others on how I should approach this difficult situation. Thank you very much in advance.