Amy,

As you said, you are young. Being young does not make your love any less potent, but it can make it more confusing. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

First is that as people grow, sometimes they grow in different directions. Many young love experiences are like this, where two people who find they can connect attempt to remain together even as the winds of change push them apart. This can produce a lot of tension. For some, love becomes everything good about the world and they don’t seek their own path, rather they seek the “us” path. For others, exploring and growing is a very personal journey, and they feel the need to walk it alone.

It sounds like he is trying to find himself and grow. My best advice is for you to do the same. If you two are going to end up together is a mystery that only time will tell, so all that can be done is to let go and start exploring. Perhaps you could embrace the activities that you enjoy, and look for the way your unique point of view adds beauty into this world. This will help all of us grow, and especially you! As you grow, you’ll be in a better position to connect with him (or another) from a place of maturity and wisdom. Those two elements underpin most successful relationships.

With warmth,
Matt

Hi Amy, I also went through a similar situation before my ex completely want me out of his life.

We had some petty arguments but unlike the past where we would work it out, he wanted a break. His reason was that he needs to find himself and his purpose in life, but promised me that when everything is settled, he’d come back to me because I’m someone he want to be with in the long run.
Over the break, I told him I wanted to make it work, and I wanted to be there for him, I didn’t want him to feel alone. Instead, it only made him want to prolong the break.

Like your ex, mine also switched his feelings completely and turned into an arrogant, uncaring individual. At first he explained it was not because of me, it was just a “lone wolf’ phase he’s going through, implying that he’s like that with everyone.
Eventually I found out that was not true, and the only person that he’s acting cold and arrogant to was me. In fact, while he was single, he was texting his friends about all these hot girls he saw and was actually flirting with one of his co-workers over the phone.

We actually got back together for 2 days, then he wanted to end it for real, saying we don’t get along anymore, denying that there are any other girls involved. Like you, I begged and pleaded, but he repeatedly said no.

You are so much stronger than I am, being able to pull off one month of no contact. I’m still struggling with not contacting mines, but for situation I think it would better if you just continue with no contact. Not to sound pessimistic, but no one knows what he’ll want after he “finds himself.” He may still want you, he may not. But if he still does wishes to be with you after he finds himself, he will reach out to you. It will hurt much less than if you stuck with him until he find himself and not choose you in the end.

OMG I have read everyone’s posts in here and sad that we all went through the same things…. my BF suddenly changed because of some petty argument, just a day before he promised me the moon and the stars! He turned cold, uncaring and even rude…. and at this point I think if that happens, we really cannot do anything about i but move on, no matter how painful. It’s not easy I know, I’ve cried a bucket, analyzed things over and over and tried to find out what went wrong. But in the end, we won’t get the answer we need simply because those men are not ready to face and accept the word “commitment” which is what we really want, right?

I am still not fully recovered, but at least the heavy heart is gone now…. and I don’t want to be bitter about it, nor do I want to keep hatred. Coz frankly, if those men cannot meet us halfway, then the relationship is doomed from the start. Love is all about complete Trust, Honesty, Loyalty, Open Communication and Commitment. And LOVE is the reason we all exist. So let him go, if he comes back to you, it was meant to be… If not, then it’s his loss.

Stay strong and keep praying…. remember that everything happens for a reason.