Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Does being authentic really work?
- This topic has 43 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 4 months ago by jock.
November 10, 2015 at 8:11 am #87147
My name is Rajasimha (Raj) and it translates to Lion King in English. Yes, I agree with you totally that by staying and being authentic, one remains more mentally healthy and does not have to fight demons or contradictions within. There is much more inner peace.
Jack, forgot to add something in my post. Liars and hypocrites are always outwitted by smarter liars and hypocrites.
At the workplace, my take is that we are no one to like or dislike anyone because people are working just like us to earn their livelihood. As Anita said, refrain as much as possible from expressing your dislike towards the person instead pin him or her down with facts about how that attitude or behavior has affected the quality of deliverables in the larger interests of the company.
Past professional experiences/hobbies without sounding jingoistic and salesman like is always welcome in a new workplace.
Jack, I am firm believer that an “authentic resume” always stays authentic in spite of the years.
RajNovember 10, 2015 at 8:20 am #87149
“Keep your heart clear
And you will
Never be bound.
A single disturbed thought
Creates ten thousand distractions.”
“In this ever-changing society, the most powerful and enduring brands are built from the heart. They are real and sustainable. Their foundations are stronger because they are built with the strength of the human spirit, not an ad campaign. The companies that are lasting are those that are authentic.”
― Howard Schultz, Pour Your Heart Into It: How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
― C.G. Jung
Members of the Forum (MoF), some quotes about authenticity.November 10, 2015 at 8:26 am #87150AnonymousGuest
* Ragjasimha= lion king, now I know! “Liars and hypocrites are always outwitted by smarter liars and hypocrites”- how clever. A statement I am trying to come up with now to complement this statement: when I am authentic, it is not about outwitting another, it is not about competition, it is about BEING. The purpose, the goal of being authentic is not about achieving something OUT THERE in the future. It is about BEING what it is that I am, HERE and NOW and that is the necessary foundation of a life, before and independently of anything else. If there is to be financial success, let it complement my authenticity. Not at the expense of it.
anitaNovember 10, 2015 at 8:52 am #87156
Yes Anita, I agree and when there is convergence of authentic beings and thoughts, there is no competition because no one in the group needs to prove a thing. There is civility and air of calmness in such gatherings. Debates are healthy bereft of personal barbs. How nice it would be to be part of such a gathering?
Well said, any success in the material, spiritual or any other sphere should not rob a person’s authenticity, then it becomes more meaningful and enjoyable. The conscience is clear and head held high.November 18, 2015 at 7:07 pm #87873TroyParticipant
One way that I look at authenticity is ‘following your heart’. I think that we act differently in different contexts. Often we feel quite authentic around our close friends and our mum. But for me I use a whole different language and topics etc for both of them. ( although I must concede I feel more myself around close friends).
In a work context there are things you often do and do say…depending on how close you are with that colleague.
I think that when we are authentic we tune into our emotions. When we are in a healthy emotional state, I feel that we have a softer awareness and our cognitive skills and emotional intuition is I guess ‘softened’ and more integrated. From this place we can act both intelligently and intuitively and for me at least I feel there is more space to respond. And instead of ‘thinking’ of the right response, or over riding my intuition with what I think others will ‘like’ which often ends up coming off as fake or a$$ kissing as someone said’.
To have a strong intelligent intuition however it may require experience to inform this. But I think that part of being intelligently intuitive is also having humility. For me personally in this authentic state (which is often fleeting) my mind feels ‘lubricated’ and answers come to me, rather then a need to construct what I think is going to be the ‘right answer’.
This is a tough one because I feel different kinds of authenticities depending on the context. I guess a goal is to bring that deep authentic self on an emotional level through the contexts, although appropriate behaviour for each context may be different there is still that core self that relates to life in an authentic way, that isn’t neccesarily highly related to the content that is appropriate for that situation.
Im going to leave this message unfiltered. I bet there are going to be many parts that people disagree with, because as I am writing I am finding many exceptions and many different examples where things aren’t necessarily the case. So it is clearly a complex topic!
One thing I will leave you with is that when we are in a mindful/present state and engaged with our experience this deactivates the self-referential processing areas in the brain (medial prefrontal cortex). And when we engage in self-refential processing the lateral areas become less active the the medial areas more active. I wouldn’t be surprised is inauthenticity is related to high levels of self-referential processing for longer periods of time. When we are engaged with our experience ‘mindful’ we are not thinking of ourself from the outside. We are….essentially one? and this doesn’t errode our cognitive competency to say a thoughtful sentence rather than a harsh one. But we are not engaging in an inauthentic ‘impression management’. There is probably a time for impression management as functions are essentially adaptive but when we live a lifestyle of impression management an self-referntial processing I think that this would be correlated with superficial inauthenticity.November 19, 2015 at 8:18 am #87907AnonymousGuest
* Dear troy:
I agree with: no longer “‘thinking’ of the right response, or over riding my intuition with what I think others will ‘like’”
And with: “bring that deep authentic self on an emotional level through the contexts
…(“although appropriate behaviour for each context may be different…”)
Authentic always, never a good reason to abandon yourself. I see no exceptions.
anitaNovember 21, 2015 at 2:50 pm #88046
I still think it is hard to be authentic in an inauthentic world.
Does hard work really pay off?
Look at those people who slave at entry level jobs all their lives.
Who make the entrepreneur rich.
Ability to package yourself, promote yourself as a product to the world. That’s what will ensure financial security.
You need imagination, courage and business savvy. And those of who lack that, are doomed to poordom.
Ok enough of a rant for today 🙂November 21, 2015 at 6:05 pm #88053AnonymousGuest
Slaving at entry level or otherwise working hard is not authentic if you don’t believe in slaving or working hard. Working hard is not necessarily a virtue.
anitaNovember 21, 2015 at 6:39 pm #88058
Working hard is not necessarily a virtue.
That’s interesting because most of the people I meet would disagree with you .November 21, 2015 at 6:40 pm #88059AnonymousGuest
I do disagree myself with most people, so it makes sense.
Working hard is not necessary a virtue. I stand by it.
anitaNovember 21, 2015 at 6:43 pm #88060
good!November 21, 2015 at 7:35 pm #88067AnonymousGuest
Can you imagine, okay, I am imagining it: a porn actor or actress, legally working, working a lot. Do you feel respect for him or her: oh, you work so hard, ten movies in a day, wow, your parents must be proud of you, did they instill this work ethic? “You are going to get far with your work ethic, working so hard… normally I will not refer to porn, but it tickles me int he context of working hard…
This is just an example.
anitaNovember 21, 2015 at 8:09 pm #88074
I mean this is something that needs to be debated really. Society values hard work. It’s like “Unless I am working hard, I cannot feel good about myself.”
I respect hard workers of course. Its just when they have resentment towards people like me who don’t value it as highly.
I can remember hard workers a) and hardworkers b)
a) worked hard and didn’t care whether anyone noticed. Didn’t need validation. Didn’t gossip
b) worked hard but also found time to gossip. needed validation from boss and colleagues. Liked to persecute those who weren’t as competent or hard-working as them.November 22, 2015 at 6:28 am #88084AnonymousGuest
If a hard worker is abusing any other person, hard working or not, the hard worker is doing something WRONG. These are two separate things. A hard worker should not use their hard work as license to abuse others, to put them down.
A hard worker, I have a neighbor, retired but working all day long on his property and private road, mowing, blowing leaves with that blower thing, and whatever he does, non stop, all day. He does so, it is my analysis, because it works for him in distracting himself from his… internal demons, so to speak. So… it is self serving, him working hard. It works for him. Not a virtue, but a way to get by in life.
The disease to please can be the motivation in working hard… not a virtue.
Depending on the motivation and if the person uses their hard work to put another down.
This is a debate issue, like you wrote, interesting.
anitaNovember 22, 2015 at 5:19 pm #88125
Interesting post anita.
workaholism is a respectable addiction as opposed to say alcoholism for instance. as in your example, people can be escaping their inner demons by staying busy. Work can massage our ego “at least I am earning money, at least I am contributing to society and not taking. I can hold my head up high!”
in other words, our ego needs to work. Of course laziness can also be driven by our ego “I need to watch TV in order to escape feeling bored”. The ego is restless.
as you said, motivation for our work is the key:
am I trying to please someone?
is this just a means to an end?
do I really need a high paying job?
am I doing this job just to get out of the house?”
The shock comes for some when retiring. They have identified completely with their job role. “I’m a teacher. That’s who I am. Take my job away and I am useless!”