Dear Katrine Nielsen:

Sounds just right, what you came up with, above.

“And really importantly keep it simple like you said attention deficit“- yes, simple. Plan ahead of time what to say to him: practice, like an actress, in front of the mirror maybe. Then when you see him tell him just what you practiced and not more than that.

Talking about keeping it simple, a line from the movie Notting Hill comes to mind,  Julia Roberts says to her love interest: “I am just a girl who likes a boy“. Simple, isn’t it?

anita

Dear Katrine,

I am glad you are feeling better, now that you have a clear plan for how to go about it. I like your plan: apologize, appreciate his efforts, express your feelings. And yes, keep it simple and non-defensive.

I’m trying to not take a potentiale rejection personally cause sometimes it’s not just about liking someone it could be a whole lot of other reasons.

Yes, there is such a possibility that he likes you but he still for some reason rejects you – a reason that has nothing to do with you. And you are completely right: if something like that happens, don’t take it personally, don’t take it to mean that you are not good enough. In fact, you can tell yourself: “I am lovable, even if he says no.” Or “I am worthy, even if he says no”. You can repeat such positive affirmations beforehand, to boost your self-confidence and feel more at ease when you talk to him.

And as anita said, I also think you will feel good about yourself for trying it and expressing yourself, rather than hiding and withdrawing. I am rooting for you!

Dear Katrine Nielsen:

I am concerned that perhaps the conversation with him didn’t go well and that you are very upset as a result…? I would like to read from you, if you are okay sharing.

anita

Dear Katrine Nielsen:

Good to read from you! I’d say to him something like: I liked you for a long time, like more than a friend. Sometimes I didn’t behave like I liked you because I was scared. (Pause) I want to ask you a question, and you don’t have to answer it now. I hope that you will answer it when you are ready to answer it (Pause):  do you like me too, like more than a friend?

anita

Dear Katrine Nielsen:

People like me, who suffer from ADD or ADHD, are limited in our ability to process and understand complex communication. We do better with written communication than with  verbal communication because the former allows  us the time and the opportunity to re-read, rearrange, process and understand complex information.

You can type all that you want to tell him and send it to him in an email OR you can type all this into a piece of paper, and as you sit with him in a park or wherever, hand him the paper to read. Tell him (type it into the paper as well) that he can take all the time that he needs before he responds, no rush. This way, he can take all the time that he needs to re-read, rearrange, process and understand what you are trying to tell him before he responds.

If you tell him all this in the form of verbal communication, he may get distressed and overwhelmed and.. shut down, and/ or  say anything to get his distress over with.

anita