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Doing a Bad thing for a Good reason

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  • #170303
    PryingMiMi
    Participant

    I was involved in a car wreck that didn’t cripple me, but has destroyed my financial situation along with my mother’s. In the beginning, I was very truthful with her about my inabilities to contribute, as Im a college student making a little over minimum wage. She was becoming very stressed out, losing sleep and barely was able to pay our rent. I got tired of seeing her like this and basically wrote not so good checks to literally cover pur living expenses, because we barely had food in the house, could NOT pay rent, and we incurred the debt of paying two months worth of insurance on a rental car for ONE month, on top of other incidentals. I understand this is NOT a good thing to do finance wise, but we exercised every other oprion before me doing this. My mom is unaware and I did this to make sure we could keep our head above water. I am receiving refunds from school and the money I receive will go to the bank Im heavily overdrafted with. However, the bank is now closing my mothers account, which is the account we have been using. I have to break this news to her, and I have to put my words together. I feel I was left to do a very bad thing to put us in a better position, but now theres the bank closure issue. I understand that I gave myself the excuse yo not be truthful with my mother, in hopes of not worrying her about our finances, but now I have communicate the problem to her.

    #170307
    anita
    Participant

    Dear PryingMimi:

    Welcome back.

    You wrote that you are a student making a little over minimum wage, but didn’t you post less than a year ago that you had a good paying job and you were living on your own, not with your mother, am I remembering correctly? If so, what happened to that job and are you living with your mother now?

    anita

    #170379
    PearceHawk
    Participant

    Hey PryingMimi,

    You said, “we exercised every other oprion before me doing this.” I assure you meant option, not oprion, correct? Anyway, what were those options? Ask this because the elements that are in your options available to you do not include doing what you did, it was an option designed by you. What were the other options that you looked at?

    #170393
    PryingMiMi
    Participant

    hi anita

     

    i did move back for my bachelors and started working home care which has pros n cons; great flexibility for class and work but crappy pay.

    #170401
    anita
    Participant

    Dear PryingMimi:

    Well, your mother struggled financially for a long time. A few years ago, her car was broken down for a month and you offered her your child support money to fix her car. You must have been legally a child then. If it is poor money management on her part, then you now share this practice by having written some bad checks.

    You are wondering how to communicate to her that you did so and as a result her bank account is being closed. I would suggest talking to her when she is relatively calm (although it would be a shame to spoil that calm), earlier in the day (so hopefully she could relax later in the day and sleep at night), use a calm voice, apologize sincerely.

    anita

     

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