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Don't Know what to do??????

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  • August 7, 2015 at 3:35 am #81389
    Chinni
    Participant

    Hi all,
    About 4 years ago, I had my relationship (Love) break up. The break up was from her side due to family concerns. I am more like a family oriented person, although I didn’t like my own decision but had to take by thinking about her parents. It took me nearly 2 years to completely recover from my break down. During these last 4 years, I didn’t even feel like liking any other girl. But I recently, came across a girl from a different country, But we work in the same department. Now, As I am knowing her better and better I have developed feelings for her which has happened without my control. And here comes the problem, I tried to talk to her and infact told her that “I like her” but didn’t get any reply back. She doesn’t initiate any conversations on texting, But if i do she talks to me. At times when I ask her through text, that whether am I disturbing her!!! She always says I don’t cause any inconvenience to her. I am totally confused what to do??? I am getting distracted and came to a conclusion that my work is even being affected by this (Because I constantly think about her). I am scared on one side that she might reject me and also panicked how should I handle this???

    Any thoughts/suggestions please let me know!!!!

    Thanks

    August 7, 2015 at 4:59 am #81390
    Adam P
    Participant

    Hi there satya,
    Regarding this whole situation, after you told her that you like her is when things started going a bit downhill. First off, telling her that you like her and not getting any response/ reply back is a bad sign. A woman who knows you are interested but does not want to hurt you would give you some kind of polite reply. As for the fear that you have that she might reject you, well because of your actions and texting her asking if you are bothering her , you’ve already lost. You may still be constantly thinking of her, but she is not thinking of you. Understand?
    If this girl still means something to you, then the only way is to have her come to you. You have already done too much, don’t even bother to ask her out. Focus on yourself and your work.
    One more thing, don’t take her no reply personally. If she does that now imagine being in a relationship with her and you’re back on here asking for help because you told her you loved her, etc and she never acknowledged you.
    Thank you and take care

    August 7, 2015 at 5:34 am #81391
    Sierra
    Participant

    I have to agree with Adam. If I had a guy express interest in me and it was mutual, I would respond in kind. She is either not interested (which is no reflection on you) or she is just leery of getting involved with someone at work. Most people do not like to get their meat where they get their bread and butter.I happen to be one of them. She could also be otherwise engaged as far as having a significant other. The end result is still the same unfortunately. Seems you will need to just accept your relationship the way it is and perhaps look elsewhere for a love interest.

    Good luck to you and be well.

    August 7, 2015 at 6:07 am #81393
    Chinni
    Participant

    I am sorry to not to describe her, Basically she is a shy girl and I have been reading a lot of similar posts on shy girls that they really take time to get on board for a relationship? Do you really think so? (I know, I am still being stupidly optimistic)
    Thanks guys for your valuable suggestions/advices on this issue.
    Thank you for your valuable time!!!!

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 4 months ago by Chinni.
    August 7, 2015 at 7:08 am #81398
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear satyakrishna:

    I think that she may very well be shy and dependent on the country, culture she is from, it may be encouraged in that culture for women to NOT initiate anything. So when you told her that you liked her, what is she to say or do? “I like you too” may be too forward and too much of an initiative to her. If I was in your postion, I would text her and ask her a very specific question to which she could not possibly consider her response to be an initiative on her part. If you ask her a question to which the answer is yes or no…If you want an answer from her ask her a question. Don’t make a statement and then wait for a statement on her part. Ask a question.
    anita

    August 9, 2015 at 1:16 pm #81508
    Chinni
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    Thanks a lot for your valuable suggestions!!!!

    Krishna

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