Empath and narcissist ... oil and water

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This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 7 months ago by darreb.

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March 17, 2016 at 2:21 pm #99309

Zenseeker74
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So after 5 years my then fiancé decided she was no longer happy and cheated and left me. With no remorseless no apologies just skipped away into the sunset. I spent the last 3 years being mentally and spiritually beat down. The first two were good. I in the process of learning how to repair all these things in me that mad me a victim and now a survivor. There are red flags … learn them and don’t hesitate to walk away. Educate yourself on Personality disorders … I wish I did years ago.
No one deserves that kind of abuse and they are so good at it in the end you believe it’s all your fault and you blame yourself.

Anyone experience a narcissist soul sucker?

March 17, 2016 at 2:37 pm #99314

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Zenseeker74:

Yes. I saw that person in my life as a vampire feeding on my soul, sucking on my soul as if it was blood she needed to survive. Do share about your experience with the “narcissist soul sucker”- what were the red flags?

anita

March 17, 2016 at 4:28 pm #99326

Kush
Participant

Dear Zenseeker 74,

I am going through something similar. My ex gf left me after 2 years of relationship. She said that we weren’t “compatible” and ” relationships just need to work”. I have been in shock for a while and yeah many other emotions. After talking to counselor, I discovered that she was a manipulator. In my case, she led me believe that she was the one for me and then abused my vulnerabilities.

There were many red flags, gut feeling and intuition that I ignored. I did things that goes against what I stood for. I blamed myself for relationship going into rocks and many other humiliating things.

And most common thing that you will find in these type of people ( your ex and mine) lack of empathy towards their ex partner’s suffering. No guilt, no conscience and no value for someone they stayed with for so long.

No one deserves this kind of abuse. But life and people are unfair and I wonder if there’s any god.

Learn from it and grow.

Although, its been 6 weeks, pain continue to persist.

March 18, 2016 at 2:45 am #99340

FrecklyElla
Participant

Hello to you,

I know what you’re talking about. My ex (2 year relationship) left me at the beginning of the year while I was away for the weekend. He cleared all his stuff out of the flat and I got the surprise when I came home. Never heard or seen him anymore since then. That felt like a real shock!
On the other hand there were red flags (e.g. silent treatments, etc.) but I ignored it and was trying to find the fault with me.
I’m trying to focus on myself and reflect on why I attracted such an unavailable person. I continue my life and focus on my dreams despite the pain. I refuse to become bitter and hard.

All the best to you

March 18, 2016 at 3:09 am #99341

Brav3
Participant

Hi FrecklyELLa,

Hang in there bud. I know its hard.

To be honest I don’t think I will come out unscathed from this experience.

Good luck to you to

March 19, 2016 at 2:40 am #99478

darreb
Participant

Totaly understand these stories aye myself have just been through something similar and last tuesday i cut the circle by getting rid off facebook so i can no longer contact this person who would just like the point of contact to wheel you in and then spit you out i made mistakes but i admit them but the red flags were there they say always go with your gut feeling and i didnot i found this site and as days go on it will get eaiser but for one will never contact this woman again i agree with the no feelings or guilt at all part hence at her age 47 near you think they be mature a little but i wore my heart on my sleeve and thats what happend never change who you are someone will like you people like that in my experince will one day do something wrong but you and i will have moved on its damm hard but the more ammo you give them the better it is for them but i took the big break to escape from facebook i will never contact that person again and have to look at it as a lucky escape … Cheers Darren

March 19, 2016 at 4:51 am #99480

Mishy
Participant

Hi Zenseeker74,

Yes I have recently given up on a “friendship” with a narcissist. I never thought the guy was a narc until I googled hot and cold behaviour and found that these people exist. Just in a year of our friendship, I felt so much highs and lows I thought there was something wrong with me. He’d made me feel like we were best mates and then treat me with disrespect and repeat the process over and over. You’d think narcs were loud and obnoxious people who thought the world of themselves but this person was a covert narc and hence although there were red flags, I ignored them, gave him so many chances and benefit of the doubt that it was ridiculous.

When I started kicking up a fuss he would just disappear without a word and I would wonder if our friendship meant nothing at all. Now I know it doesn’t – it was all a mirage and I was just a victim.

It hurt for so many months but now I am starting to feel better. In fact, I am glad that I got the opportunity to realise that such pathetic heartless people exist out there and they really do not deserve people who love and care for them. You’re better off spending that love on yourself.

March 19, 2016 at 6:25 am #99483

darreb
Participant

Can Agree spot on there Spend love on yourself and show someone what you have is someone liked you they would talk and help through problems
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