Hi Anita,

thanks for replying. Yes, as a young girl i was always afraid. Afraid i was an outsider. Afraid i would die. Afraid i would go blind because i put lipgloss on my eyelids (lol at that one). I’ve always been the depressed type. From family of origin, we have only done a little thus far, but it’s been brought to my attention that i was the center of my dad’s world (he died last year) and now that he’s gone, i expect my partner to fulfill that. He has had trust issues with women because of his mom. However, this block in relationships started long before my dad died. In early relationships with guys, i was desperate for them. I was head over heels, in a sick way. And would push them away and they’d leave me. Now I️t seems I’m opposite. My question is this…once I’ve “turned cold” can i ever go back to healthy love? Am i going to have to leave my partner? I know we’re not just together for our kid because we entered therapy before he was born.

We were just best friends. Probably unhealthy. He would actually side with me against my mom, and they remained married until he passed. My mom and i have had a very volatile relationship, i believe she is an untreated borderline. He literally made me feel like the most special person on the planet. He had another daughter from a previous marriage (about 20 years older than me), and my mom shut him out from seeing her. Really odd dynamic.