Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Equanimity in action
- This topic has 46 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 4 months ago by Anonymous.
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September 12, 2018 at 1:51 pm #225401AnonymousGuest
Dear Prash:
The neuropathways that are there, they don’t get changed. What happens is that new neuropathways are created as we learn and heal. As we… sort of grow more and more neuropathways as we proceed in the process of healing and learning, these new pathways, over time, change the neuro-mapping of the brain.
(I just made up the term neuro-mapping).
It already happened that members attacked me aggressively here on the Forums. I felt the fear and asserted myself every single time. Over time, following many successful assertions, my confidence grew. I feel now that I can take care of myself if attacked. Yet I feel the fear nonetheless.
anita
September 13, 2018 at 5:50 am #225517AnonymousGuestDear Prash:
I want to give a little more thought to your recent post. I agree with you that “neuropathways can probably never go away”, not those involving strong emotions. Strong emotion, especially fear, is like glue that keeps the pathways strong. I think that each neuron in our body is either On or Off, One or Zero, that is, it is either connected to another neuron or not, there is no in between. No 2-9.
As we learn, emotional learning, that is, not the dry kind, we add pathways to our brain, new connections made. These new connections affect the overall three dimensional mapping of connections. In certain issues (and there are multiple pathways regarding each significant issue), the new take the power away from the old. In other issues, not so.
Every brain is a highly individual map of pathways therefore healing and learning is a highly individual and personal process. I do notice that I don’t experience fear at all in some circumstances where before I did experience fear. On the other hand, I still experience fear as before in other circumstances.
Inserting realistic thinking to replace distorted thinking when afraid helps a lot. And yet, at times, the fear emerges later on, after correcting thoughts, a result of a spontaneous activation, it seems, it just so happens.
anita
September 13, 2018 at 8:15 am #225537PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you for your response. A nice conceptualization of a very complex phenomenon.
When I read what you had written about how you deal with fear. I was reminded of this quote from a book written by Stephen Covey –
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”The space between stimulus and response seems narrow yet persistently reminding ourselves time and again that indeed there is a space helps.
September 13, 2018 at 8:31 am #225543AnonymousGuestDear Prash:
You are welcome and thank you for your valuable participation here, in communication with me and elsewhere in these Forums.
Excellent quote, regarding the space. Only humans can create and recognize such space and then pause in it. It is what mindfulness is about, awareness, healing and learning.
anita
September 13, 2018 at 11:29 am #225581PrashParticipantDear Anita.
Thank you for your kind words. Your intentions have always been to be a healthy support to the readers here. I hope you will not perceive any more aggressive attacks on this forum.
Take care.
September 14, 2018 at 5:41 am #225671AnonymousGuestThank you, Prash.
anita
October 29, 2018 at 11:36 am #234341PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Just posting here to drop a hello to you.
Hope you are doing well 🙂
October 29, 2018 at 12:36 pm #234359AnonymousGuestHello, Prash. Good to read from you again!!! Doing fine, and you too (according to the smiley face)?
anita
October 29, 2018 at 8:36 pm #234429PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you for your response. Always grateful for them coming from an amazing person as yourself.
Some days are good, some are not. In terms of learning and progress, the not so good days are of more utilitarian value.
Take good care of yourself.
October 30, 2018 at 6:22 am #234479AnonymousGuestDear Prash:
You are welcome and thank you for your kind words and good wishes for me.
I didn’t understand “the not so good days are of more utilitarian value”. If and only if you would like to explain it to me, please do. I know so little about you, about your childhood, your history, you shared so little. I always wished to read more from you.
anita
October 30, 2018 at 7:19 am #234493PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you so much for your interest in my history. A major part of it I don’t recall. As and when something triggers it, only then I seem to think about. One reason for not sharing my details is my wariness of sharing information on public spaces. Another is my schedule where I always seem to wish there were 48 hours in a day 🙂 .
“the not so good days are of more utilitarian value”
This was with reference to situations in my life where I get upset about something. Recently I was subject to what I felt as major criticism in my work. My initial reaction was typically animal like – to react, justify myself and trying to put the other person in his place and trying to negate whatever was being said. Over time as I was able to calm myself I was able to look at the aspects of the criticism that were actually correct. Recognizing that, I was able to make adjustments to the way I was working and that has resulted in a good deal of satisfaction. When I look back at similar events in my life, I found that most of what I considered as not good experiences have been eventually very helpful in terms of personal improvement.
October 30, 2018 at 7:51 am #234509AnonymousGuestDear Prash:
Your history then, your childhood, is not only a mystery to me, but to you, not recalling it. I don’t recall much of mine because much of it was too unpleasant, to put it mildly. I spent much of it in fantasy.
I understand your weariness about sharing information in public, of course. It would be okay for you to share information that cannot harm you, that is, information that cannot possibly be used to track you. No need to share your location, or place of birth, place of residence, ethnicity, religion, education, job title or history, number of siblings, any of these things. Sharing about having been a scared child, that cannot be used to track you. And with me, sharing such thing is safe, if you were so inclined.
Regarding having been criticized, being mindful of your initial reaction, then calming yourself and rethinking, this is all in line with the title of your thread, Equanimity in action and with your overall very strong rational/ intellectual element. Your emotional insight is enough to make for a functional life, reads to me. Functional enough, anxiety manageable…?
anita
October 30, 2018 at 10:01 am #234543PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you for the encouragement to share. Being an introvert that is a very welcome step. I will do that for certain.
Life is functional and of much better quality than it was and anxiety is manageable enough once I realized that what I was trying to do earlier was to completely get rid of it. Now I am more accepting of it and focusing on what I can do.
October 30, 2018 at 10:59 am #234559AnonymousGuestDear Prash:
I too was trapped in that false belief/ wishful thinking that it is possible to get rid of anxiety for good. How wonderful that would have been, if it was possible.
You think well and you function well, equanimity in thinking and acting.
anita
October 30, 2018 at 8:47 pm #234613PrashParticipantDear Anita,
True. It would have been wonderful to eliminate anxiety once and for all. However I believe I have come around to see the anxiety that I have had and still have to be a significant contributor to who I am today – a composite of all my experiences, feelings, thoughts that includes the anxiety also. For example, if I didn’t have anxiety at all, I would never have come to this forum and I would have missed out on these interactions that I have with you and all the wonderful people here. 🙂
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