My friend,

I share some a mix of questions and ideas for you quiet meditative contemplation.. in your practice towards self understanding and discovery.. Take time with ideas… patient with ideas… gently…

Each person is always right.. Always right means, only right equal with there cause and effect space and level of enlightenment.. But in another space? Example.. 3rd floor see, and knows everything equal with 3rd floor..2nd, and 1st.. But can know about 10th, 1000, 1000,000,000 …………?

When fire is not seen, where is its location?

A Priest, a Monk, a Beggar, a Hindu, a Moslem, an Atheist, a King, A murderer, a Thief, a Blind man, A Rich man…. All put their hands into the fire.. Depending upon whos belief or non belief, whos opinion, whos ideas, whos concepts.. Will be burnt more or less?..

My friend.. Everyone lives and dies in the theory. Even a pilot must begin his training in the classroom.. But on the time, his books can not fly the plane for him.. He must enter the cockpit and practice..

Without sincere practice.. Words, and the attachment to the appearance of ideas become another prison.

As a woman of LAW..  Why the fish of fresh water can not swim and live in the Sea? Why the Sea fish can not swim and live in the fresh river? Each space has its laws equal with the domain. Not equal with the law, then can not enter.

Observe.. how many spaces you can see, and look for the main law of each space.

What Law controls each Soul that comes to the life in this body or that body? My friend, nothing goes beyond the Law of cause and effect in the physical space.

And… emotions are the path of cause and effect.

Another question…  3 babies born, lay beside each other.. Can you know, which baby will become the rich man or woman? A beggar? Or murderer?

Each Soul comes to the life carrying the seed of cause and effect. .To receive one can, or 5 or 50… The path for cause and effect to appear is always through emotions.. And within each Soul is pure space.. Balance..

But.. due to false seeing and attachments to the appearance of the life.. ideas leading to passions, desire, greed, lust, wanting, hate etc… lead each person towards evil acts (as you describe).. or ideas lead to enlightenment..

There are more Laws than leaves in the forests of the world.. The Laws have no eyes, no feelings, no discrimination..

Like the seed of a fruit tree, from the seed.. on the time.. each fruit appears here or there.. and can not know where or when until it appears..

On the time… with enough conditions, details and occasion… Everything appears. People who commit crimes against others.. Why they can not stop? See there mistake? Forgive? Choose another behavior? Because the inertia from follow ideas lead the Soul into dark spaces of passion and can not escape.. Emotions kill.

Within each Soul has frequency. Frequency attacks frequency. Or, frequency can equal with another and practice to grow up awareness.

My friend.. Before you is a square box, a triangle, a circle, a hexagon… Did it mean the air inside was also each shape? To escape the suffering from a discriminating view from appearance.. Just throw away the boxes..

Suffering from the habit of pulling the past continuously into the present comes from the attachment to the appearance of each situation.

Of all the objects you have around you, from degrees, to house, to this and that.. Why the most basic of all objects you have being that of your body, you can not keep? If.. can not keep… what is the purpose of object?

What is the formula for enlightenment? My friend.. There is no formula that can be followed.. The idea of a formula implies it came from an attachment to the self, an ego identity, a personality.. But what is the location of the truth when truth has no position? What can we bring through the door of the death?

Delusion itself is unreal my friend as it has no self nature. And True nature is free from all phenomena..

Each object has its Law. The Soul has law of the Soul.. The body has Law of body.. Go together like positive and negative.. As long as we remain fixed to the appearances of our life. We will always be in some form of suffering from feelings attached to good or bad, right or wrong, love or hate, happy or sad… If seeing from the eyes was the truth of seeing, why does a Bat not fly into things at night?

By the View you use… then so it exists exactly..

To escape attachment to the past and stop losing ourselves to the past.. We must cut all emotions with the past.. Cut and forget.. This is the a practice that requires great courage.. Because without the obstructions to endless questions of WHY.. What will we discover? Like words in the sand.. time erases everything.. Each life comes and goes like words in the sand..

Freedom from all suffering lies within the skill to not keep, not hold, not possess.. Because my friend.. What you keep, keeps you. The body is like a suitcase.. what you keep, you must once again return to collect. That is the Law.

When awareness becomes awake and we begin to see the basic law of cause and effect.. We see that the body is always the slave to each thought, opinion and idea.. Then we can begin the practice of cleaning the mirror of awareness from within..

Everyone wants a baby… On the time you look at your baby.. Can you know your baby will grow to receive and pay what? Become what? Cannot my friend. Until..  everything appears.. on the time equal with cause and effect.. Effects always come right, without discrimination.. Because everyone can not escape keep, can not put down the feelings attached to the appearances of the life, because they did not dare to discover.. suffering becomes the permanent house of the Soul.

Why you born this family and not another? Why this life you have the nature of the woman and not man? Why this man blind but not another… why.. why.. To see the law of cause and effect is the to begin see the path to freedom.

To see, that each behavior, thought and idea, each action are like a farmer throwing seeds on his land.. and on the time from each seed, everything appears.. Beside flowers are always weeds.. Likewise for example.. within the Soul there is always pure and dark ideas.. equal.. That create the friction for everything to rub.. The friction is important detail for the Soul to grow up..

Do not scare dark ideas attack.. Even you stand on top of pure mountain.. means beside you is equal dark mountain.. That is the Law of relative.. always opposites.. Im so happy, mean sad hides underneath.. I love, means hate waits underneath..

Until my friend… we have the courage to begin put down left and tight, as the path to freedom lies between the space of Is and Is not..

The world is full of people who said.. I know! I understand!.. But, after… what did they do? I know and I understand is the prison of habit… But, without sincere practice and action.. Each did volunteer to become the mouse running on the spinning wheel of repeat..

The value only appears inside the action of practice.. practice to COME BACK to your pure bright nature free from all suffering.. From where I can say my friend?. from where I know? Because I did. I am not one special.. Dark forests and many Hells have been along my life… But.. there are all illusions caused by false seeing and thinking…

Attachments to emotions is like living on a small island that housed Billions… all happy happy, sad, sad, love, hate, kill, etc…

One day my friend… and we can not say if that is today or another.. Until…that day and time appears… You will see everything as it is by the standard of awareness… as the nature of awareness is seeing and knowing in quiet and stillness… the feelings can not enter in this space..

So keep going my friend.. Keep inquiring from within.. the path to your freedom exists within your own nature… Not from outside.. Patience.. curious of all without holding or keeping any idea or opinion.. as whether an idea is considered as Holly or equal.. within the prison of KEEP, they become equal. Courage in each step, forgiveness in each action.. keep practice meditation and cleaning and clearing the dark thoughts that are like thieves of your treasure.

From regular gentle self determination to practice..to curious.. to neither accept nor refuse.. we begin to attend to the inner garden.. and like everything within the life… On the time, when there is enough details and conditions inside and occasion … Everything opens… ON THE TIME. Neither early or late.

So I leave you with this last idea… Thank you so much. Wind……

Dear Namaste87:

You are very welcome. “I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the new things… the incident with my mother is pulling me down”- to be less overwhelmed with the new, remove the old burdens from your life (your mother pulling you down).

Think of your role as a daughter to be a thing of the past, and your role as a mother- your New Life. Open the door to the new, close the door on the old.

anita

Dear  Namaste87,

After reading your post and the rest of the thread, I feel like I am not so alone. Thank you for sharing your story and I found the responses quite helpful as it pertains to my own situation.

I am also 34 married and pregnant with my first child. My mother fits the description that you wrote about yours to a tee. Being her emotional punching bag my whole life had finally taken its toll. It has been three months since I have gone no contact with her. I moved across the country 5 months ago but I did not move specifically to get away from her. She pushed me to the brink and now there is no way i am going back to my old ways.

I, like you, am trying to heal from the past wounds while also thinking about how I can be the best mother possible to my baby. I want to live an honest life and be true to my words. No hypocrisy is allowed under any circumstances. It has been extremely difficult to come to terms with my decision to cut out my evil mother but knowing that I have a baby on the way has helped tremendously with the guilt and the shame.

Whether I am having a boy or a girl, I want to raise the baby as an honest person. I don’t want the child to grow up and end up resenting me because I was not true to my words.

I would never want my child to experience the physical, emotional and verbal abuse that I went through. I want to protect my child from evil, and pain. So if I tell the child you must not allow yourself to be in a relationship with someone who treats you this way, then I myself must live by this rule. If I am friends with someone who abused me, the child might feel like okay so if you can be friends with your abuser why can’t I? So if I continue to be friends with my evil mother, my child will learn by example and I am setting him/her up for a lifetime of being in abusive relationships.

it truly hurts that my relationship with my half sister is also damaged because of this but it is no longer about me. She will understand when she is strong enough to become a mother herself. She doesnt want to be a mother out of the fear of hurting our evil mom.

My favorite philosopher is Alan Watts, I listen to his lectures when I feel depressed. I highly recommend.

Dear Namaste87:

How are you?

anita