Hi Sandy,

One of the symptoms of depression is that you stop being interested in the outside world.  You don’t feel able to support those around you because it is taking you all your time and energy to support yourself.  Generally, you are overwhelmed with sadness and anger.  You cannot be the person you used to be – loving, supportive, caring, happy, interested.

Perhaps you could ask your best friend to be patient with you as you are not handling things very well at the moment.  Explain that you are feeling disorientated emotionally and that you don’t feel able to “share” right now.

It is sometimes helpful to express your feelings by writing them down on paper thereby releasing them from your head or you might prefer to take up coloring/painting/music to express yourself.  Also, some form of bodywork can be helpful – exercise, yoga, tai chi, or even consider having a massage to release any pent up emotions.

I hope you feel better soon.

Peggy

Hi Sandy,

Writing your thoughts down doesn’t have to be an essay – no-one’s going to mark your work.  Just write the words down regardless of how they come out.  Nonsensical, erratic, ridiculous, random, word association, back to front – just as it comes (free flow).  Consider using the hand you don’t normally write with.  There is some logic to this.  Left hand usage comes from the right side of the brain whilst right hand usage comes from the left side of the brain.

Depression is always caused by anger/grief that has not been expressed.  Anger is caused by people not behaving how we expect them to.  The original reason/situation may have been way back in the past but the memory sits in the sub-conscious and when a similar situation arises, the memory gets reactivated.  It may feel like you are reacting to a current situation but really your friend has probably just triggered the earlier memory and associated feelings.

Trauma is caused by the emotion which gets attached to the event.  Releasing your emotions in a safe way allows healing to commence.  Punch a pillow, hit the treadmill, learn a martial art, play a game of tennis – release, release, release.

Your friends and family are moving on and living their lives – you are doing the same, you just haven’t put it in those terms.  What you are doing at the moment is living your life as it is presenting itself to you.  You are taking a big step backwards so that you can examine the whys and wherefores of the past before taking a giant leap forward into the next chapter of your life.

If you would like to share some of those ‘negative’ experiences of the past three years, I’d be happy to give you my input.

Peggy