Hi everyone, I hope you could help me to understand this situation better. I’m practically new here, hope I am not asking for too much.
I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. The main reason was distance. I was planning to move to his city to study in the future but I didn’t know when and anyway I didn’t want to stay there forever. He was willing to move where I live but I wouldn’t have allowed him to leave all his life behind for me (I want to travel and I didn’t felt ready for such a committed step, plus I had a lot of doubts about us).

When we broke up, he insisted on being friends. He was heart broken and I felt extremely guilty, so I thought it was my duty to be by his side while he needs me. Last year he visited me. He behave extremely “sticky”, insisting on sleeping close to each other, demanding hugs and others things that made me feel utterly awkward. I had to ask him to stop. He did but, complained about how cold I was being and how painful it was for him to no receive those attentions.<

Later on time he got a girlfriend, and asked me to visit him as friends. I wasn’t sure but he insisted, so I thought that since he was in a relationship it should be ok. But when I went there he had already broke up with her and was pushy and cheese again. Had to ask him to stop again and he replied that he couldn’t resist… That time I was specially weak because of many bad experiences and personal problems I was dealing with, so before leaving, I “gave up” and had sex with him. He seemed like such a safe spot and comforting. We agreed on meeting again in the future.

Later on time I cancelled the idea. Also told him that I won’t move to his city, I choose another uni, and that I found a job here that I love. He congratulated me but then started to text me less and less then he stopped. This week we communicated me he has a girlfriend (name included). I have to admit it I was pissed, but want the best for him. I told him that we should stop being friends because I still can’t forget him and I feel stuck. But he got super angry. He told me that he has refused other relationships because he was afraid of me coming back and “breaking them”. That he has been waiting for me and has been unhappy because he’s been single. And that now is time for him to “fight” for his happiness. Blaming me for his unhappiness. That I’m taking choices that excludes and hurts him. Totally loosing the point of the conversation. And that there’s no need to stop being friends, that it may be good for me but it is bad for him. And also threw me a lot of past ill-feelings he had inside. The day after he started texting me again, totally ignoring my request. This is not the first time I’ve tried to cut contact, but this time I was firm in my decision and he react way worse. I just replied to him super angry, because he can’t expect me to owe him all the things he blamed me for. I broke up with him to stop the commitment and he waiting for me but he’s been doing it anyway. Sure I told him that we could try again if we had the chance, but never promised him nothing nor asked him to wait.

He has a new partner, a good life. Why does he insists on being friends if he admits he can’t be in the same room as me without physical contact? I don’t understand such an offensive reaction, I just told him what I need in order to be ok. I want to move on like he’s doing. I’ve never seen him like that before.

Am I being that selfish? I feel super bad for him, but also angry. And actually feel bad for his new girlfriend, because I have the sensation he’s in part using her to forget me or to get that happiness he can’t get by himself.
Thank you for reading me. Sorry for the lenght.

Best