I hate labeling people as unattractive. But what I mean is… I am falling in love with a guy who is not attractive to me. But I use the term “falling in love” very lightly because I have a boyfriend. However, my boyfriend does not treat me well in the slightest bit. Our relationship is extremely abusive and I am currently trying to become independent from him. Yes, I do love and care for my boyfriend but I know I deserve better.

But when I say “falling in love” I mean that I love the way this other guy makes me feel. He is interested in my life and well being. He is one of those guys who are kind, honest, and sincere, which I think is very rare as I’ve only stumbled upon about 2 of these guys in my entire life. Our personalities go together very well and everything… but he is unattractive to me. So I am confused about why I like him? Do I even like him? Is this considered normal?

I once had a crush on a guy like this about 4 years ago. His name was Joe. I fell in such a deep infatuation with this Joe because of his personality. He was a scrawny, short kid with nothing to show in regards to looks. But his personality was marvelous and he made me feel confident and happy. I ended up having a crush on him for 2 years before we admitted to liking each other. We never ended up dating and decided to stay friends as I was not ready for a relationship. It was also because I had no sexual feelings for Joe. He was such a good guy that he ended up being the one to try to help me when I first met my current boyfriend. He would always try to explain to me that I am way better than him and he didn’t like the way he treated me. I had a crush on him from 8th grade until 10th grade. I lost feelings for him when I met my boyfriend. As soon as my current boyfriend began to abuse and manipulate me, I lost all ability to think for myself. It wasn’t that I lost feelings for him… it was more so that fear took over and I was in survival mode and I had no idea how to handle my situation. My boyfriend forced me to block Joe on everything and I did… out of fear.

This new guy reminds me of Joe. He cares for my well being and seems to admire me a lot. He just isn’t attractive to me. I almost want to puke when I think about us hooking up?

As of now, this guy and I are strictly friends. But it is almost one of those situations where you know a guy would do anything to be with you.

I am just very confused about my feelings and need some help sorting them out.