I am 22 years old, and I am moving to another state to “find myself”. I am really excited to proceed with this adventure. However, I’m having a difficult time un-attaching myself from my family; especially my three little brothers.

So, I’ve been living on my own for a while now. When I first moved out, I remember worrying about my siblings 24/7. As time went by, things got easier. I miss them still, but I can go more days without seeing them. Now, I’m trying out a different state. So, that’s a bigger deal, because I can’t just hop into my car and go have a movie day with them.

Two of them are older, so I feel like it will be a little easier since they are teen boys that are usually caught up with videogames or sports. The little one is three, and has Autism; he’s the super attached one to me. So, my constant worry is “what if they need me” or “what if they aren’t receiving the attention that they’re used to getting from me?”. The teenage boys live with their dad, and that is it. Just them and a dad that uses the whole “tough love” thing on them. They don’t visit my mom that often, because she sort of sent them off; she needed to “focus” more on the baby and his advancement with autism. Also, they get bored at mom’s. The baby lives with my mom, and my grandma lives with them too. Long story short, I just feel like I am the piece in their life that makes their life “complete”. In their eyes, I’m probably just a sister that annoys them, but in my eyes I’m more than that.

I guess my point is that I know this is my time for me to worry about myself. Not to be selfish, but to just focus more on my life and my future. I’m tired of worrying so much. I’m tired of feeling a knot in my throat every time I think of my brothers. This is going to be the most difficult challenge I will be facing, and I need help to make this process a slight bit easier.