Hi,

I’m in my final year of university and will be graduating soon. I have a very supportive partner, who I can see myself with for a long time. However, I’m feeling very anxious as I’m not sure what’s going to happen after graduation. I am beginning to apply for jobs, but want to move away from home and live with friends. I have a lot of pressure from my family to move back home. I don’t like being at home and I feel stuck and suffocated. I have a religious family and my mother has forced me to date other men. I was even forced to sleep with one of the men I went on a date with. After my mother found out I had depression and was in therapy, she still made me go out with this man again. My mother makes plans with other people about me without consulting me. I am no longer a child and will not choose my partner based on who she chooses. Sometimes she told me we were going to one place and ended up in another place where a man was waiting for me. I feel very badly because the men she chooses for me don’t even know that I’m not interested and I have a partner of my own. She chooses them because they are wealthy. Of course, I tell them (the guys) but I am threatened of being cut off of the family and finances by my mother. I am an educated young woman, of course I will choose a good partner who is financially stable, but I refuse to marry for money. I want to only be married once to the love of my life and build a life with that person. Am I wrong? My family has supported me financially, but I’ve had to figure everything else on my own like going to college and getting through it.

I never had a close relationship with my father. When I was younger, my father physically and verbally abused me and my siblings. My father still verbally abuses my mother. He uses intimidation and physical violence to gain control. I am afraid of him. A child shouldn’t fear for their life from a parent. Growing up was hard because I could never talk to my parents about anything important i.e. my period, when I liked someone, when I wanted a friend to come over, or even go out to spend time with friends. My mother lied to cover up for me saying I was in school or doing homework, so I could spend a few hours with friends.

I hate being at home. Going away to college was the best thing that happened to me. I was free to wear, eat, and do as I wanted. I could see my friends, try out a party, and even meet some nice guys. I’ve been very lucky to have dated nice people, of course I’ve met some men who were only interested in a friend of benefits type of deal etc. I am home for a few days visiting my family and my mother has told me that I will be moving back in after graduation and I can work from home. My father just asked me to go to school near where I live after I graduate. The thing is that: I DON’T WANT TO. I want to find work and move on and be independent. I have dreams and want a loving relationship with who I desire. My family will be disappointed no matter what. I’ve never been allowed to make choices for my own.I want to go into the world, travel, build new relationships, and find who I am. I do not want to stay home. Ever since I came home the only thing I’ve wanted is to go back. I’m developing a lot of anxiety because I don’t want to come back home and I’m not sure what I’m doing with my life right now.

• This topic was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Annie.
• This topic was modified 8 years, 3 months ago by Annie.