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  • #91020
    Annie
    Participant

    Hello,

    My brother is addicted to and abusing alcohol. He recently lost his job because he kept missing work due to being hung over. Then, he got a ticket for driving under the influence. Tonight, he came home and was driving drunk. He just turned 21 years old. I want to help, but I’m not sure how. I know that there are rehabilitation centers and support places, but I just don’t know what to do. I feel very helpless. What if he doesn’t want to be helped and refuses help? I am afraid.

    #91030
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Annie,

    Join Al-Alon. I am out of the loop on this one, but I believe that is the support group for friends and family of alcoholics. You need other people who “get” what you are going through. And they will help you overcome any enabling and co-dependence on your part. Basically, the cure and the idea to get better has to come from within the alcoholic. If he won’t get help (treatment centers, going to AA, successfully quitting cold turkey (doubtful)), the family/friend plan is to let him fall on his face. Tell him you love him, but you will lovingly NOT give him $$$, lovingly NOT let him crash at your house, etc. This is “Tough Love”. When he hits bottom, as they say, then he will begin to think about recovering.

    Thinking of you, praying for your brother,

    Inky

    #91031
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Annie:

    Maybe call the police when you know he is driving drunk. Actually, it is your moral/ ethical responsibility to do so. If you see him drunk and going for his car and you tell him to not do that and he still does, call the police, give them the location, license of his car so they can stop him.

    anita

    #91057
    Annie
    Participant

    Hi,

    Inky – He has become violent because he needs money everyday. He woke up hung over and always slams doors and screams for money. My mother is enabling him. He has loans on a car that he bought. My mother is paying them. He uses excuses everyday, going to the gym etc. to get money. My mother knows exactly what he’s doing and she continues to enable him to keep the “peace” or prevent him from yelling and slamming doors. She will complain to him and yell thinking he will learn. I can not stop her, she thinks he will be in a worse place if he doesn’t get money.

    Anita – This has only happened once in front of me. I will do that next time.

    #91079
    Inky
    Participant

    OH NO!! You and your mom are in very real danger. It will get worse. Trust me. I haven’t lived it myself but I’ve seen it before. The police have to get involved, unfortunately.

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