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  • #55381
    Runner
    Participant

    I moved across the United States for a man who I thought I loved. We met in college and had been dating for two years. Immediately two weeks after graduation; we moved to a new state for his new job. I left behind all familiarity, family, and friends. I found a job in my field, but it always seemed to be about him. He became very ill with Crohn’s Disease. I was his care taker. Our love life dwindled. We argued. I was unhappy; I felt as though I was always put second. This bothered me because I always put him before myself. After almost a year of living together, he kicked me out of our apartment. Right now I am living with a friend from work. I feel used, hurt and alone.

    I am having a very hard time moving on. I am continuing living in this foreign state and working hard at my job. He has left to go back home to get healthy. He plans on returning in May. Part of me wants to be with him and the other part of me wants to move on so badly. I have cried over and over. My heart aches with pain. I feel lost and confused. My family looks down upon me for moving for someone who they felt never loved me. I have tried to make new friends, which has helped.

    He hasn’t contacted me at all. His parents are very close with me and are worried about me being out here alone. I just don’t understand how someone can be so selfish and not even care how I am doing. After all I moved to a different state for him, and he is yet the one who is back home with loved ones. How is this fair? Advice appreciated.

    #55394
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Hi Runner

    I am so sorry for the way you are feeling.

    Are you able to let go of this relationship and just focus on looking after your needs, pls. I can assure you that you will thank your stars in a few months for moving on.

    There are some lessons that you can learn from this relationship, which will help you HEAPS in your future journey and bring you loads of happiness.

    I know it is painful to let go but you have a choice here – either you can grieve for a day, 2 weeks, 10 years or for lifelong. Look, people do what they do. We can’t change them or expect them to change. But what we can do is, make ourselves better, happier and grow from each experience.

    You will be in my prayers tonight. Loads of positive energy coming your way,

    Jasmine

    #55402
    Anna
    Participant

    Hello Runner

    First of all I hope you take care of yourself the right way and clear your mind of all the bad thoughts you’re holding in. Take a few days off and just cry and let it all out, you need to go through this in order to heal yourself.

    After this you may feel empty inside or powerless but it is normal. Don’t be ashamed to ask your friends for help, talk to someone you’re comfortable around. After a week or two when you’ll start feeling a vit better, decide what you want to do. Is this man worth all the pain you’re going through? I think not by the way you described your story.

    Talk to his family, they may offer support and understanding and might help you. I think the best decision is to take a break from everything and then move on. Maybe you could move back to your state or try to find friendship and love where you are, but you need to let go. Stopp thinking about him. It may feel hard, but you could try to find a place to live on your own, concentrate on your work or spend time doing something you like inorder to take your mind off him.

    If you want to get over him you must feel like you made the right choice, even if this won’t come fast. You need to improve your life and focus on the present.

    I wish you all the best and that you’ll find the happiness and comfort you’re looking for. Take care of yourself and don’t let bad things like this get to your heart.

    Anna

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