Worry can be addictive and though you might hate it your mind and body may have learned to crave it and craving it create it.
Worry can be the fear of not having control where we never have control. Life lives off life, birth and death are a part of life. To fear death, to fear this cycle, is to fear life and so to many people stop living.

Never lose the opportunity to worry about something now about what might happen in the future… If it never happens well at least we didn’t waist the opportunity to worry about…

Sounds silly right but that is what most of us do. We imaging a future of fear and loss and worry about it today.

The wisdom traditions tell us that the solution is to learn to live in the present. To appreciate the time you have with a loved one in the moment and avoid muddying the moment with fear of the future. This is easier said than done as by now you may have created a dependency on worry.

I think the first step is to acknowledge the addiction to worry and that the worry stories you tell yourself are ones that you wrote. Avoid making judgments of good or bad, right or wrong on that acknowledgment as that just feeds the worry. It just is. You worry about things that have not happened.

Worry and fear serve a purpose. These emotions are intended to get our attention. However once the issue at hand has your attention fear and worry are no longer helpful. Instead say thank you to fear and worry for pointing out the concern, you see the problem, and are doing x, y and z to address it… and in those situations where you have no influence over the concern work on acceptance.

Instead of remaining fixated on the fear of losing my grandmother I’m going to appreciate the preset movement that I have with my grandmother. I am only emotionally week because I tell myself I am emotionally week, I om working on telling myself a better story.

.
Give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as the wisdom traditions suggest,
This world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
Amen.

It is estimated that between 5% to 15% of the population are “highly sensitive people” (HSP). It is very likely that you are in that group. HSP struggle with a depth of feeling that most people can not understand. Your intense fear of losing loved ones is not unusual in this group as attachments are on a whole different level. The best advice I can give you is to accept the fear and let it be there instead of fighting and trying to overcome it (which will likely be futile and leave you feeling even more helpless). Accept that you are afraid and allow yourself to think about the fact that one day the people you love will die, and what this means for you.

Then find things you can do for your loved ones…maybe cook your grandma’s favorite meal for her once a week, or take your parents out to dinner and a movie, it doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it’s something different than what you normally do for them. If you share a religion or belief in spirituality with your loved ones then use that to connect on a deeper level with them. Perhaps you believe that you will all be together in the afterlife, or that we are all connected to the same consciousness and so cannot truly die, only the physical form. Pray for your loved ones every day…this simple ritual can bring a lot of peace.

Then try to find something for yourself…a hobby that can occupy some of your time and thoughts and maybe bring you into contact with people who have similar interests.

Lastly, do something on a regular basis that requires physical exertion (hiking, or swimming can be amazing at letting you forget your worries, even if just for a while).

I don’t know if any of this will help, but I do know that you are stronger than you know. Please post again and let us know how you are getting on.

Hi presynaras,

Please ignore the below two links that I pasted by mistake in your reply. They are ‘Oak’ and ‘Olive’ remedies.. The remedy for you is ‘Red Chestnut’

Links to ignore.
– (http://www.vitacost.com/bach-flower-remedies-essence-oak)
– (http://www.vitacost.com/bach-flower-remedies-essence-olive)

~VJ

You are welcome, presynaras. Post anytime.
anita

Hi Prashanth. I hope your Grandma is still well. I just came across your post, as I too am currently going through a difficult time with my grandma. She has raised me, she is my whole world. She is at the end stages of her illness and the fear of losing her is causing me a great deal of pain. My life seems so meaningless and empty already…