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Feeling crazy and hopeless

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  • #372637
    Dee
    Participant

    Hello, to anyone who might read this, I hope you are doing well and are in good health. I’m writing in today to vent a little bit about how I have been feeling. So far in 2021 I am not doing my best, but I am staying mostly positive. About a week ago I was met with some very intense abdominal pain that I suspected MIGHT be gallbladder pains. I went through my next few days being a trooper and getting through my days until I was able to go seek help on my next day off from work. I went to an urgent care explaining my symptoms at the time, but I was told that my only true option for what I am experiencing would require a trip to the emergency room which is exactly what I was trying to avoid. So I head over to the E.R. and after a somewhat short wait, I am taken to a bed, they take my vitals, get another recap on what’s going on, they get a urine sample, take some blood, eventually have an ultrasound, and CT scan. They had given me some morphine for the pain so I wasn’t totally miserable for the entirety of my time there. Anyways, in conclusion after all the hours I spent in that room they came up with nothing. All they had to tell me was that I am quite anemic, which I have of course already known for years. How annoying. I can’t be too mad, they did at least try, were very kind and truly believed I was hurting. I was offered a prescription but kindly declined since I had already been getting through my days with OTC pain relief (barely relieves anything but I am a tough gal). At the end of the day I was told to just make another trip to the E.R. if the pain got any worse. So here I am a week later and still hurting, I am waiting to set something up with a primary doctor, which I don’t have yet. I have spent the last week compiling a chart/list of ALL symptom I have been having for the past several years it has been since I’ve really seen a doctor in the case of other than an emergency. To be truthful I really think most of what I experience all comes back to my reproductive system or something, along with an autoimmune disorder maybe? I really have no idea as I’m no doctor but I know something is wrong with my body, this is not proper functionality! I think I might have endometriosis and I just keep reading women’s stories about how they suffered up to 20 years without a diagnosis and have had to go through multiple different doctors and surgeries over the years just to get a true diagnosis. That scares the hell out of me. I am not the best advocate for myself and with covid happening I can’t bring anyone to my doctors visits, it worries me that I am not going to be heard enough. At 22, I already have about $7,000.00 in medical debt and can’t stand the thought of it getting any worse but I am tired of living in a dysfunctional body. Hopefully my journey to answers is not a terribly long one. Thanks for reading my struggles if you read this far, have a great week 🙂

    #372640
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Dee:

    I will be able to read and reply to you in about 18 hours from now. I hope other members reply to you as well.

    anita

    #372645
    emmaholson
    Participant

    Hi Dee, nice to “meet” you : ).  You are not crazy AT ALL! YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING PERFECTLY !!! Your self advocacy skills are beyond impressive, no easy feat. I went thru almost the identical experience re: stomach aches galore, ER visits, neurology, ultrasounds, you name it. They couldn’t find anything, so frustrating! They prescribed me Dicyclomine (bentyl) which is for stomach cramps, esp IBS. That med is saving me while I too await a dr’s visit after covid hopefully slows down. One idea…can you go to an urgent care facility vs ER? I think ER is the most expensive. At a minimum perhaps you can go and ask for a prescription of bentyl? It’s not a controlled substance or intense med at all so I wouldn’t see why they couldn’t give that to you knowing you are looking for a dr now. (fyi, I don’t know many rules here so admin, users, please accept my apologies if I’m not to mention medications.) Did they do a cbc? If you are anemic they should look at your thyroid and B12. Not enough b12(it is AMAZING at HOW MUCH too little this vitamin affects us!) If vitamin B low, that could explain the anemia and hence warrant more testing as that can be related to autoimmune diseases.  I would also get a pelvic ultrasound to see if it’s something gynocologic. And it could end up being IBS which was my case. I know your pain. I don’t know what’s worse: physical vs emotional bc emotionally its so distressing to be undiagnosed! Oh and I always tell them I’m not crazy. Because they can see from my medical history my mental health ailments and when 90% see that, they assume gastro issues are ONLY related to ones mental health issues. I’m sorry for all you are going thru and hope that you are able to find relief soon. Heated blanket, med discussed above, and peppermint oil around my belly button are the three things that have greatly helped me. Hang in there! xo

    #372691
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Dee:

    Welcome back. You shared that a week ago you experienced “some very intense abdominal pain”. You took some over the counter pain medications that didn’t alleviate the pain much; you endured the pain, “being a trooper.. a tough gal”, until you had a day off work.

    On your day off you went to urgent care. There it was suggested to you to go to the emergency room. In the E.R., you were given morphine for your pain, your vitals were taken, as well as blood and urine samples, and you had an ultrasound and a CT scan. Nothing was found to explain your intense abdominal pain, and more was added to your$7,000 medical debt. A week after the E.R. visit, you are still hurting. You’ve been reading online about what may be wrong with your body, and you are thinking that there may be something wrong with your reproductive system, or something along an autoimmune disorder.

    My input today: the fact that nothing wrong was found after blood and urine samples, the ultrasound and the CT were analyzed is very encouraging, in my mind; it would have comforted me, if I was in your shoes because that means that you are not suffering from infection, inflammation, abnormal growths (tumors) and/ or obstructions. Yet I hope you do make an appointment with your primary doctor, like you are planning to do.

    The mayo clinic website, mclinic. com/ anxiety/ symptoms/ abdominal pain reads: “if you’ve seen a doctor and there does not appear to be a medical cause, you may want to speak with a specialist and consider that your anxiety could be to blame… The gut and abdomen are highly affected by stress and anxiety.. Some possible reasons for abdominal pain from anxiety include: * Muscle Tension.. Muscle tension can cause a great deal of physical pain, cramping, and other discomfort..* Adjustments.. because of that muscle tension (or because of the way that you sit/ stand when you have anxiety), it’s not uncommon for those with anxiety to adjust their posture in a way that in unnatural. Over time, that posture change can cause the muscles in your trunk to cramp up or experience pain, * Bloating and Stomach Pains.. Anxiousness has a tendency to affect digestion.. This can lead to gas, bloating, indigestion.. ”

    If you spend a lot of time sitting, I suggest that once in a while shift your focus to your body, check your posture, and if you notice that it is unusual, or not natural- correct it. Also, you can practice the Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) technique, moving your attention to your forehead, tensing and relaxing your forehead muscles, then go down to your jaw, do the same, then your arms and hands etc., all the way to your feet. Check out very well mind. com/ how to practice Progressive Muscle Relaxation, for step to step instructions.

    Having read your previous threads, you shared that as a kid, you were “about the easiest kid ever to have”, not wanting your parents to worry about you, not wanting to “inconvenience anyone else”, so you pretended to be a “no bad days, always smile on face” kind of girl. Late last year, you endured being with a boyfriend you really didn’t want to be with simply because you were afraid of confronting him and ending the relationship, hoping that he will somehow notice that you were miserable and end the relationship for you: “I just want out.. I am terrified of the confrontation….I want him to end this.. I’m ready to end it once again and don’t want to wait for him to confront me first.. I want to do the right thing and end this for good so badly”.

    To be afraid to take care of yourself in fear of inconveniencing others causes anxiety, lots of anxiety. I wonder if you are currently in the relationship you shared about late last year (?)

    anita

    #376156
    anita
    Participant

    How are you, Dee???

    anita

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