Feeling lost without my best friend

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This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 7 months ago by Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching.

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September 9, 2016 at 5:57 am #114713

Lonie
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I’ve been struggling with anxiety for years now. It effects every aspect of my life. My work, how I react with my kids, my relationship with my significant other of 8 years. I don’t have any friends. A week ago today my fiancee left home and has been staying with another women. He came home the day before yesterday and told me its over. He can’t live inside my box anymore. He said he hasn’t cheated on me he has been layal all these years buts its over now and he more less would be pursuing his new friend. I know I’ve gotta pick myself up and move on but I can’t forgive myself for letting this happen. I know its not all my fault and there are plenty of reasons to move on. He has been my rock for so long I feel lost. Part of me wants to call him and say he’s making a rash decision. But I know it will only make him angry. The other part says let go and work on yourself. I can’t hardly and get very little sleep. I’m running scared and could really use some advise.

September 9, 2016 at 6:26 am #114717
Miarbil
Participant
Dear loniefaye,

I also suffer from anxiety and I can understand the toll it takes on our lives. ı am very sorry you are going through this tough time but please stay strong and try to use this time to spend more time with yourself and heal yourself as calling him will most probably push him farther and make u feel worse. No matter how much we are close to people some roads are meant to be walked alone in life and I hope you find some solace in spending time with your kids. anxiety is hard which means you have to do an extra work to keep yourself from spiraling down. It may mean you need more quite time more relaxing exercises and healthier choices more than the average person. I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with you sometimes people grow apart it is not your fault. Love yourself more than ever now and soon you will be with someone who appreciates every crazy anxious fiber of your being. I will keep you in my prayers. It is a cliche but its true that sometimes things fall apart to make way for better things to come along. this pain wont last forever. İ am sending you so much love and support. If you feel alone keep updating us here will be there to cheer you on. xx
- This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Miarbil.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Miarbil.
- This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by Miarbil.
September 9, 2016 at 9:45 am #114745

Anonymous
Guest

Dear loniefaye:

Of the two choices: trying to talk him into staying with you and working on yourself, I advise you to choose the second. The best place to work on yourself would be in the context of therapy with a competent, empathetic psychotherapist, I strongly believe. Have you attended psychotherapy before? If so, what was your experience?

Any insight into the origin of your anxiety?

Will be back to the computer in hours from now and will reply to any post you may add here.

anita

September 9, 2016 at 10:48 am #114750

Lonie
Participant

Thank both of y’all for your help! No I have never done therapy… I’ve considered it. I’ve been doing a lot of research about anxiety lately and have what I think is a good understanding of what’s going on with me. I’m challenging myself to do the things that make me the most uncomfortable. Its making me feel better about myself. I’ve been calling ppl I haven’t talked to in years and trying to open up out of my “box”. And gain some kind of support system for myself. All my family lives 2 state away.
I know I have got to stop blaming myself for this because yes I’m very reclusive, but he has is faults too. Its just hard knowing he’s with another women this soon. Its not healthy for him either… But that’s none of my business anymore.

September 9, 2016 at 11:48 am #114762

Vicki
Participant

Dear loniefaye:

I too lost my best friend. He decided to start dating someone else, it’s been about 5 months, also I am losing my job of 10 years at the same time. I knew it was the best thing to let him go, I didn’t try to get him back, I started working on myself, which I had neglected for the years we were together, I also started doing Reike, yoga and staying centered on myself, it was very hard for about 2 months because I missed talking to him and all the good times we had. But can i tell you, it was the best thing that happened to me. He hasn’t worked in a year, he is basically a loser but until i got away from him I really couldn’t see all the negative things. Please try to take care of yourself, get on a good anti anxiety medicine, focus on your life!! And see a good counselor to talk things out!! It will be the best thing you can do for yourself!!! I PROMISE!!!

September 10, 2016 at 9:10 am #114833

Anonymous
Guest

Dear loniefaye:

In your last post here, it reads to me that you are on the right track as far as attitude and the actions you are taking. Post again anytime.

anita

September 10, 2016 at 7:18 pm #114879

Livelovelifeeleni HappyMotivation, Advice, Outreach & LifeCoaching
Participant

Its his loss theres nothing wrong with u, u deserve to b treated like the queen u are its not your fault a real person meant being in ur life would try to help, not cheat and be selfish, dont blame yourself. Try fovusing on ur happiness daily with hobbies things shows u enjoy ns spend time with kids go out in community vidit places say hi and try dating apps just knownits not your fault ull get through this i promise beautiful. Ee etruggle to learn, grow and help others dealing with same stuff nothing js wrong with you ur on the right track and we lovemyou the best thing ucan do for u is seek help accept change let go know u deserve better and he isnt your bff anymore, u dont feseve to be hurt, dont forget good times u had and that u helped eachother some ppl come im and out of life but its ok youll survive jts all for best and u matter youll be ok my beautiful frjend best of luck innlife youre nevr alonejts all worth it Love Leni ♡Livelovelifeleni Positivity&Motivation ♡
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