Hello Lee,

To answer your question how do you move on? Time. It takes time for everything.

But there are other things I noticed on your forum that I would like to talk about. Its a hard thing to ask of me of you but I would like for you to put all the love towards your son and make sure he is okay. I know I am giving more importance to your son than you but I feel it is much harder for him than you and the best way I can tell you is to try to do your best every day and make sure your son is taken care of. This will heel everything. When there is love, sadness will disappear.

Its okay if you can’t find a job. It takes 2-3 months to find a good job. Also, since you can’t look for job all day, try doing something. If you sit and think these things, you will feel sad for yourself. But if you include yourself in an activity, your activity will become your passion rather than feeling sad.

Hope this helps. Again, remember you are doing this for you and mostly for your son because you both love each other and you both are family and have to take care of each other.

With Warm Regards,

Passionate Self

Well, It’s a tough situation where I’ve never have been (breakups yes, but sons involved don’t). First of all, I think no problem is a petty problem. We have all the right to value even our own problems and the right to reach for help without undervaluing ourselves.

I haven’t had any sons and probably I’m much much younger than you but I think you should let your feelings toward your ex come out: Let yourself feel angry, scream, cry, punch a pillow, FEEL THEM, don’t trap them because at one time they’ll explode in worse forms.

I think also that maybe having a little patience and peace would help you see things better: help your son with what you have and in ways you can, live day by day without worrying too much for the lack of job and things like that, change your mindset around the thought of “nothing of this will be forever”, slowly things will start to look brighter.

I hope this helps you in someway, brother c: I’m sending you and your little son a big, big hug and a huge smile!

Lee,

In contrast to passionateself’s ideas of moving away from the sadness, consider: When you feel like crying, cry. When you feel like writing, write. Follow that, and you’ll find the beauty around you, yard or no. Not that not having a yard is petty, its from a loving place. But doors close, windows open… for instance, perhaps no garden outside right now, but inside, you’re weeding the garden there. Approaching your resentment and blame, questioning your happiness, looking for peace. That matters, in my opinion, far more than one outside.

Perhaps, as a small example, your son seeing your struggles with romance, seeing his dad act in such ways, and yet seeing you find forgiveness, respect for his dad, despite the issues… will give him a steadfastness that will help his future be brighter. Learning great lessons of heart while with you, safe, second hand, so he doesn’t have to go through something similar with his partner. It all knits together when we let it, dear sister, and sometimes its difficult to see how we’re being lead down our path of joy, but we always are. Some meals tougher to chew than others, but rich, nourishing, helping us grow.

Namaste, sister, may your days blossom with forgiveness, deepening contentment, and inspiration to grow your garden, wherever you might be.

With warmth,
Matt