Forum Replies Created
July 25, 2014 at 3:40 pm #61769
If your friend has a thought of hurting herself then you need to actually let the counselor know. I know there is an emergency line for it. I don’t know the number though.
Also, I have a rule: I keep positive people around me.When things are going bad for them, I will offer advise but I also tell them to snap out of it. Basically a year of negative thoughts are too much for me. Its easier said then done but your friend needs to become mentally strong which means positive mind and ask her to watch BObproctor dvd you were born rich. There are 3 dvd on youtube.
They are worth the time.
PassionateSelfJuly 25, 2014 at 9:49 am #61748
I do it too sometimes basically because I want the conversation to end.
What you can do is start thinking about anything at the point when there is a time to say sorry. Then come back to a person and say Okay.
Also, sometimes it is okay to say sorry so people can feel not taken granted for but if you doing a lot as stated by you. Try the method. Basically thinking before speaking analogy going on.
PassionateSelfJuly 25, 2014 at 7:49 am #61737
The reason there is a saying to accept your body is not to tell you that you should be overweight but to tell its okay where you are and not hate yourself for it.
See I am also overweight and that is okay with me. I know how to lose weight. You remove all junk food and exercise half hour – hour per day. Pretty simple. So I am following that for month and half now. Even though I haven’t seen changes in my body. I know my habits of eating and working out have changed. I have seen I have got physically stronger. I also know that it will take time.
Watch Chris Pratt video of providing advice to fan about weight loss. He said in such an awesome and nice way.
Speak up when your friend say something by moving the direction of the conversation.
Passionate SelfJuly 25, 2014 at 7:37 am #61735
Hey Caring Guy,
Enjoy the moment. I know you want to know the future but nobody knows it including her. She said yes to meeting you so take a chance to take her out on a romantic date. Don’t stress about the future. If you believe you need to work on you and your kids first, use this time to do it. Take her out every week or so.
Let the romance come back.
Passionate SelfJuly 24, 2014 at 8:35 am #61672
Hope you are doing well.
I have to say your boyfriend is right. Focus on yourself. I can’t say for sure but I believe he has a hope you will change so you’ll can be together.
If you really want him and you can’t start focusing on yourself without him. Tell him that you want to have a dinner once a week or in the starting may be once a month to catch up. But I truly believe you need to focus on yourself.
Your inner strength will be the key.
Passionate SelfJuly 23, 2014 at 9:25 am #61583
I am so glad to know that. I believe I didn’t fully answer your forum now.
Keep a journal: whenever you are about to cry, write. second time, you are about to cry, put some energetic music and sing along. third time, dance. Fourth time, cook something.
You got my point here I hope. You don’t have a job use this time to get over him. Join meetup.com and meet people in your hobbies and enjoy being social with your group.
Try art of living if you have in your area. These all items are mostly free and only require your time.
Lee, lets take one step because if you don’t move forward, you will go backward. So, lets take one step toward something anything that will be good for you and you only.
Tell me your step, Lee.July 23, 2014 at 9:15 am #61581
I used to feel just like that. What changed?
You not going to like my answer but move out. Find a place to live with roommates. You are dependent and you know that and you feel guilty. Don’t feel guilty no point. Move out. Why?
You will have a sense of responsibility.You will have to look for full time job. Don’t depend on your parents to provide you money when you have moved out.
Also, most importantly don’t sell yourself short. Try different ways to reach out to people about the job. For me linkedin worked like a charm.
Make a purpose to find a full time job in computers and look ways to increase your resume. It ain’t over till you say so, even with no so good grades.
Also, make a goal note-card stating your goal (look for a job) and due date and in return what will you do to achieve it (like apply one job per day) and then read this note-card daily and work your best towards it. You will get a full time job.
Till then, I suggest spending 10 minutes or more of daily time listening on youtube to Bob proctor “You were born rich DVD part 1-3”.
With Warm Regards,
Passionate SelfJuly 23, 2014 at 8:48 am #61579
Ofcourse it has to be some good to this. This is amazing for you. See if you are going into 9th grade, you have an extra year to prepare for 10th grade. Since you are already home schooled, you know how to study on your own. So, start a subject that interest you and study 10th grade book on it and keep doing by subject by subject. So, every year you will be year ahead and get great grades which will lead to scholarships and great college.
Kaitlin. Awesome news. Use the freedom and enjoy it.
Passionate SelfJuly 23, 2014 at 8:40 am #61577
What do you want to do?
If you know what you want to do then start on your time working towards it. Keep the job because as you said you have to pay the bills but with time you can gradually go towards what you want to do in life.
Also, if you really want you can change the job but I believe you will in the same situation as you are in. See what you want and just work towards it.
Also, the way you wrote I have a feeling you resenting your partner and family for being a “head of a household”. If you partner is trying to get a job then you shouldn’t feel resentful because one day you may be in the same situation as he is. I know its hard to do than said so look for ways how you can change your mindset. If you feel he is not trying then encourage him to try. Talk to him about both of your goals in life and work together to achieve it.
You have a partner (which gives you an opportunity to work with someone), a dog (who loves you unconditionally) and you (that is your biggest strength).
Trust and take a step forward. It will take some time before you reach towards your goal.
With Warm Regards,
PassionateSelfJuly 22, 2014 at 8:49 am #61483
I am 27 and still don’t know my purpose.
I been through it and am still going through it.
Here is what am I doing about it: I am doing experiments in which anything I like doing or good at it, I will do it and after 6 months I will evaluate to see if I like what I am doing and then get an education in it and put all my best. Just to give more depth, quite few of my friends told me I should be a coach. I decide first to do the internship and I realize coaches are afraid of confidentiality matter and therefore they won’t go for it. So, I found this site and everyday I am posting my words into one or two forums. We see if after six months, I want to take this to other level.
PassionateSelfJuly 22, 2014 at 7:55 am #61477
To answer your question how do you move on? Time. It takes time for everything.
But there are other things I noticed on your forum that I would like to talk about. Its a hard thing to ask of me of you but I would like for you to put all the love towards your son and make sure he is okay. I know I am giving more importance to your son than you but I feel it is much harder for him than you and the best way I can tell you is to try to do your best every day and make sure your son is taken care of. This will heel everything. When there is love, sadness will disappear.
Its okay if you can’t find a job. It takes 2-3 months to find a good job. Also, since you can’t look for job all day, try doing something. If you sit and think these things, you will feel sad for yourself. But if you include yourself in an activity, your activity will become your passion rather than feeling sad.
Hope this helps. Again, remember you are doing this for you and mostly for your son because you both love each other and you both are family and have to take care of each other.
With Warm Regards,
Passionate SelfJuly 21, 2014 at 8:17 am #61392
I am so glad you posted this.
First of all, you will always have this thoughts. With time, the thoughts may become lessen but you will have them. The difference will be whether you act on them when they come.
Now you may be wondering well how do I avoid them. Telling yourself you will do it, won’t help. It will be a process. If you really love this girl and you do want to be with her, then you have to take steps every day or weekly to control your actions whenever things won’t go smooth because that is a part of relationship. Here I recommend searching some suggestions to see what you can do to calm down when these thoughts arise like breathing in and out and then apply them daily or weekly whatever helps.
If you believe girl is toxic, then you need to let go. For example, my close friend only wants to meet over food. I dont want to spend money or eat out so much (unhealthy). I have told her this and recently she still recommended. Anyway, its my choice that I haven’t hang out it with her for 3 weeks and I won’t till we find other activity.
What do you want and go for it.
Passionate SelfJuly 19, 2014 at 8:23 pm #61273
How is it going? Thank you so much for reading my suggestion.
Do you have any hobbies or any activity that you like to do or something you always want to try?
Being alone is okay but a little social is awesome way to become more happy and healthy. So, do you like hiking, pottery classes, cooking. Chose one as a start and have fun with it and look people on Meetup to meet them and discuss your interest. This will give you social time plus something that doesn’t involve speaking about weight.
When you are with you weight chatter friends, talk about something else or go to movies because they will not be talking there. Be creative with them, learn to become master at changing topics. Your friends are more than weight talking people so find out what they like and do those things.
The thing is Rebecca your life is a gift and I am not saying it just because. I want you to use it. Live it and enjoy it and Rebecca you are the only person who can find out how. Try different things. Be experimental and 99% of time be around positive people. You can’t change your dad or your friends but you certainly can be what you want.
If you decide to be around negative thoughts, its hard to stay positive. But if you try everyday to become better at having positive thoughts and surrounding yourself people like you, you will find peace surfacing automatically.
Be selfish and do this for you, Rebecca.
Thank you for taking steps to kick your eating disorder and thank you for believing that you deserve better.
Passionate SelfJuly 19, 2014 at 11:36 am #61262
How is your Saturday going? Hope you are enjoying this wonderful week.
Congratulations on studying Masters degree. You should be very proud.
I thought I may ask you few questions that may help you when you think and answer them.
So Why do you teach? What is your personal purpose of teaching?
Would you tell someone that they are a failure because one person or may be more don’t like him/her? So, why you tell yourself.
Say one nice thing about you everyday. You need to, because my friend you are a teacher and there is a great respect for them.
Last, the person affected you because of their behavior. If you let everyone affect you then you become the product of their behavior. Make your own destiny. Let people be how they are. Make your time worthwhile. Be selfish and teach and have fun.
Teaching is fun because you get to be a giver of knowledge and you get to question the status quo of knowledge.
Watch Tedtalks of Sir Ken Robinson. He has a theory about education. More than that, I love that he gives much deserved credits to teachers.
Thank you Steve for reading this and I hope that you know that I am rooting for you.
Passionate SelfJuly 17, 2014 at 12:26 pm #61163
Hope you doing well.
So I have another perspective. Have you noticed what S wants? Now, it probably has nothing to do with you of what S wants. But just wondering have you noticed. If not, then try to notice.
The point is people mostly think about their wants. There is a reason I am writing this. I am glad if it helps you and that is one of my reasons but I have my personal reasons that I am writing and yes I am thinking of me at this point.
Find what S wants and put it with your wants and present it to her. It will work. TO give you an example: my roommate doesn’t really care about keeping the bathroom clean. I had roommates before and usually I tell them but its me telling them and they don’t really take it well. So, this time this was my strategy. I know she doesn’t like to spend money. So, I told her (which is true) that homeowner will charge us for cleaning fee so it is important since we both don’t want to be charged that we keep it clean especially since she is moving out in a month. Ofcourse, she didn’t argue she could see her benefit.
Find her wants and put it with your wants. It will work.