fbpx
Menu

feeling pretty damned sorry for myself!

HomeForumsPurposefeeling pretty damned sorry for myself!

New Reply
Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #61429
    Lee
    Participant

    Hi
    to cut a long story short, my partner of 3 years asked my and my son to move out the family home we had created.
    So we did, I got a flat. Its a nice flat.
    But I feel trapped, so trapped, now before you judge me for having petty problems, which I know they are, we have no garden, no area to sit out, apart from a carpark. My son has no friends here, we travel to see his friends, we go out to the park alot.
    but I have so much resentment inside of me for my ex, I cry alot, and yes, feel pretty damned sorry for myself.
    I never used to be like this, I thought I could move on and make life better, I cant find a job, its not for the lack of trying,
    i want to scream at my ex, you did this, this is your fault, I know I have to make this better.
    I have had a few bad relationships over the years, and i think its all catching up with me, and I dont know how to heal myself anymore, i used to be so strong.
    How do I move on?

    #61463
    Anyone
    Participant

    Try to figure out where did you lose the strength and how to get it back….

    Love and courage to you….

    #61477
    passionateself
    Participant

    Hello Lee,

    To answer your question how do you move on? Time. It takes time for everything.

    But there are other things I noticed on your forum that I would like to talk about. Its a hard thing to ask of me of you but I would like for you to put all the love towards your son and make sure he is okay. I know I am giving more importance to your son than you but I feel it is much harder for him than you and the best way I can tell you is to try to do your best every day and make sure your son is taken care of. This will heel everything. When there is love, sadness will disappear.

    Its okay if you can’t find a job. It takes 2-3 months to find a good job. Also, since you can’t look for job all day, try doing something. If you sit and think these things, you will feel sad for yourself. But if you include yourself in an activity, your activity will become your passion rather than feeling sad.

    Hope this helps. Again, remember you are doing this for you and mostly for your son because you both love each other and you both are family and have to take care of each other.

    With Warm Regards,

    Passionate Self

    #61479
    Lee
    Participant

    Thank you Anyone and Passionate self,
    I do put my son first, he knows nothing of how i feel within me, to him I am happy mum who plays and takes him places. We do have alot of fun together and because he is only 10 I hide my sadness from him, as I dont want him to ever be sad due to circumstances. I teach him to be strong and to love life, I should take my own advice lol.
    I know there are people alot worse off than myself and I am grateful for what we have, its just so hard just now.
    Thank you both for your positivity 🙂

    #61491
    Abraham Rodríguez
    Participant

    Well, It’s a tough situation where I’ve never have been (breakups yes, but sons involved don’t). First of all, I think no problem is a petty problem. We have all the right to value even our own problems and the right to reach for help without undervaluing ourselves.

    I haven’t had any sons and probably I’m much much younger than you but I think you should let your feelings toward your ex come out: Let yourself feel angry, scream, cry, punch a pillow, FEEL THEM, don’t trap them because at one time they’ll explode in worse forms.

    I think also that maybe having a little patience and peace would help you see things better: help your son with what you have and in ways you can, live day by day without worrying too much for the lack of job and things like that, change your mindset around the thought of “nothing of this will be forever”, slowly things will start to look brighter.

    I hope this helps you in someway, brother c: I’m sending you and your little son a big, big hug and a huge smile!

    #61583
    passionateself
    Participant

    Hey Lee,

    I am so glad to know that. I believe I didn’t fully answer your forum now.

    Keep a journal: whenever you are about to cry, write. second time, you are about to cry, put some energetic music and sing along. third time, dance. Fourth time, cook something.

    You got my point here I hope. You don’t have a job use this time to get over him. Join meetup.com and meet people in your hobbies and enjoy being social with your group.

    Try art of living if you have in your area. These all items are mostly free and only require your time.

    Lee, lets take one step because if you don’t move forward, you will go backward. So, lets take one step toward something anything that will be good for you and you only.

    Tell me your step, Lee.

    #61586
    Matt
    Participant

    Lee,

    In contrast to passionateself’s ideas of moving away from the sadness, consider: When you feel like crying, cry. When you feel like writing, write. Follow that, and you’ll find the beauty around you, yard or no. Not that not having a yard is petty, its from a loving place. But doors close, windows open… for instance, perhaps no garden outside right now, but inside, you’re weeding the garden there. Approaching your resentment and blame, questioning your happiness, looking for peace. That matters, in my opinion, far more than one outside.

    Perhaps, as a small example, your son seeing your struggles with romance, seeing his dad act in such ways, and yet seeing you find forgiveness, respect for his dad, despite the issues… will give him a steadfastness that will help his future be brighter. Learning great lessons of heart while with you, safe, second hand, so he doesn’t have to go through something similar with his partner. It all knits together when we let it, dear sister, and sometimes its difficult to see how we’re being lead down our path of joy, but we always are. Some meals tougher to chew than others, but rich, nourishing, helping us grow.

    Namaste, sister, may your days blossom with forgiveness, deepening contentment, and inspiration to grow your garden, wherever you might be.

    With warmth,
    Matt

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.