Hi all,
I know tihs is something we hear often, but recently I found myself completely overwhelmed with a ton of memories which then brought on every emotion: anger, sadness, jealousy, love, hate…..ugh…and they seemed to all be happening at the same time. My first thought to these feelings is “there must be something wrong with me”….or “I should be further along and indifferent….” and of course that made things worse but I felt like I was drowning and I would never get my head back on straight. I know that my thoughts create my emotions- but I couldn’t shut my ruminating mind off!

It’s been just about a week and things started to lift a couple days ago. Thank God. I am thinking now that maybe my biggest obstacle to all this is in not allowing myself to be o.k. with the feelings occurring. I need to simply observe them and let them ride out. The part that delays it a bit is that I can’t just go and start crying somewhere and beat some pillows. I work full time so I have my professional mask on, then I go home to my happy home life……and then I need to be sensitive to others’ feelings. I am happily married now but the feelings were related to a former relationship that ended 2.5 yrs ago. A trigger occurred and I got tripped up. I then feel guilty instead of recognizing that these feelings come up because I am a sensitive and caring person….I am not made of stone. Do I really want to be a totally indifferent being? Not really…

Once I begin to clear up I am then able to recall that I used to have these “triggers” on a daily basis and it was very hard and that is why I am no longer in that relationship. Then I can become grateful again.

It’s a relief right now…

KK