Dear Sylvia:

I didn’t understand what your friend said to you, that you “did the exact right thing by protecting yourself from toxicity. Do you mean that your friend said that you did the right thing by not spending the night in the hospital with your father? If that is what your friend said, then I agree.

Your story reminds me of the story of my mother. I think I was five when I first heard her announce that she was going to die (by committing suicide). Half a century later, she is still alive. And yet, I have suffered that long from anxiety every single day of my life.

Eventually, I ended all contact with my mother and am still in the process of healing from her emotional threats over the years to end her life.

I think that it will be the right thing for you not only to not spend the night with your father, but also to have no contact with him. If ending contact with him is the thing that will allow you to live a life where you are no longer stressed or drowning in stress because of your father, if it will allow you to move and start a new job, make your life a better life, do whatever it takes.

anita