- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Hello,
I don’t post here a lot and I feel like I’ve been under a lot of stress the last couple of days, so I’m just looking to vent in a place I know is safe and where the community will have open ears.
I’m a male in my early thirties. Life has been so hard – I have no family or friends and really struggle with loneliness. The last two days have been terrible, but I’ll skip to the problem really eating at me. In my shortest effort, I am interested in this gal who works at a fast food chain. Sometimes she works the register, which affords me the best two seconds of the week I get to talk to her a little bit. Sometimes I am even able to flirt a little bit, and she doesn’t give me any “no” signals. Today, I saw one of her coworkers poke her to flirt with her and it made me feel so inadequate. Mostly because I was standing right there and she didn’t stop to say hello to me (which she sometimes does). So, really I am not sure if she talks to me to be nice because she’s in a working environment or if she’s actually interested. A couple of years ago, she seemed upset I never asked her out. When she expressed her frustrations outwardly at me, I understood it to be that she wasn’t interested in anymore. My therapist gave me good advice and said, “That’s not a typical response for you to have when someone might want to go out with you” (in other words, that was my childhood stuff responding to her nonverbal communication). I slipped her my phone number a long time later to end the long looks and odd silence we’d give each other every week, and never got a text from her. That’s understandable considering the chemistry was worn. However, we still talk and I still make it clear that I am interested. She usually does too, and it seems to be getting better each week I see her. I wrote her a nice little note for her earlier in the year and it seemed to break a lot of that ice too. So, when I saw someone who gets to see her a few hours at a time a few days a week, as compared with my two seconds a week, I felt worthless. If I had any other dating prospects, I wouldn’t mind. The internet is a crapshoot – gals copy and paste their profiles, suddenly stop responding, or don’t answer at all. I’ve been single for four and a half years now. I’m in all kinds of agony. I still show up and put on my happy face in an effort to be charming, but people really don’t know. What am I missing? If I knew this gal well enough, I could understand what piece I was missing to transition more flawlessly. I’m running blind and it’s hard enough talking to her when she’s in a work environment and there isn’t enough time to really sit down. I’d like to stick to my guns here because, if I can learn how to ask out women in person, then I won’t need to worry about this so much later on.
Thanks for listening.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.