Talk to them about it, blog about it, FB about it, tell their parents about it, ignore them, avoid them, hang up on them, cold shoulder them, give them the stink-eye… There are 100 different ways to show your displeasure.

At this point they already know.

But if they backstabbed you then they already don’t care.

Caveat: Keep in mind that some people honesty don’t think they’ve done anything wrong.

Nina maybe it’s time to make peace with your past by confronting these people first or that person first before assuming anything. If you find it difficult to do that then it’s just going to continue to bother you. It’s better to face a situation better than running from it. Sometimes we think things are bigger deals than what we think, to only find out it’s not as bad as we thought. We tend to over think things which leads us to fear the worst. Hope that helps.

Vhanon, we don’t even know the exact details of what’s really going on with her situation, we are assuming and at this point just guessing. Either way it’s best to just talk to this person, that way you can find out what’s really going on, so that way you can be at peace with this. I’m sure if this ” girl ” is an adult, she will be rational so that way you two can settle things peacefully.

Hi Nina,

It’s Elle under a new username since I couldn’t remember my password on the other account, my apologies for any confusion. Anyway, I would confront this person by asking them if you could meet for coffee somewhere at a public place or you can have a counselor contact her and you can all meet in your counselors office and talk it out there too. Obviously you two are grown adults and I’m sure you and her can sit down and have a very calm & loving discussion. Control your feelings of not trying to get angry, be as calm as you can and I believe you will be pleasantly surprised by her reaction. People react very positively & calmly towards behaviors as what I mentioned above. Since so many years have gone by, I wouldn’t expect denial from her, more than likely, you will be received with love & understanding and she will admit her faults and deny anything to you. I’m sure she wants to hear how you feel from your own voice. Moving on is ok but it’s not healthy to avoid something that you obviously really care about since you were brave to post about her. I admire you for writing this and allowing us to help you. I send you lots of love & hugs…! Xoxo

Hi Nina, it’s natural for things to feel shady and un-clear because you haven’t spoken to that person yet. Nobody should be mean to you, a mature woman will be compassionate towards you and respect your feelings. If someone was mad at me or upset with me, I’d rather they talk to me in person than carry that grief around, makes me sad bc I think I hurt my ex with the intentions of not wanting to hurt her but just to know her childhood better. I’m a person who wants to make things better, that’s me anyway and the way I am. Wanting answers & peace from someone and the situation is not chasing, it shows that you respect your feelings and yourself enough to want to do something about it hun. Also, don’t ever feel stupid, we have all been there and we all need someone to talk to about our feelings. It’s not a waste of time writing about your feelings, it’s actually healthy. You are certainly not wasting my time, that I assure you. I come to this website from time to time for inspiration and accidentally came upon your post. Anyway, please try contact this person if you can, it will be a great weight lifted of your shoulders to talk to this person. Who knows, maybe something really beautiful might come out of talking to her. You may find that you two have a lot in common. Was this a long friendship or ex-lover? Talk soon.