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- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 8 months ago by Paula.
June 4, 2013 at 4:38 pm #36468
Hi I just started getting into a relationship with this guy that I liked for what I saw in him. When I first met him he told me he was 25 but later on after some things happened he decides to tell me he is really(at that time) 28. The reason for his lie was his fear of running me away because he really liked me and saw I stand out from the casual crowd of people. So I get his whole story of the kind of person he is(angry, insecure, looking for love, sad,) I begin to piece things together. Though I felt another something about him that had me cautious I decided to proceed with this further to see how this would go. So a time came where I kept in contact with him and help him along the way until we met again through mail. Now the time has come and we are together but like they always say you don’t really know a person until you are alone with them or they get comfortable. Well so far I helped him get a few things like (for example) supplies for up coming events and other things he wouldn’t ask for but I just volunteer the help. I even let him take my car to run some errands and figure it would be ok since I built that trust with him. So far these couple of months I think I have been to free handed since I notice now instead of asking he simply states he is going to do this and that then leaves with my car. Not only that but the time it takes is crazy! I mean he will be gone all (excuse the language please) damn day and wont return until that following night or day. I told him and he seems to always have an excuse. He says he is getting better but his getting better is not enough since his timing skills are poor. He has and anger problem as well. He gets fiery mad at the simplest of things like “why did you move that”? or “I told you to do this!” And now I even think he thinks that my car is his and doesn’t feel the need to ask to go anywhere. Now I’m no fool but still the little things he do for me is not as nearly enough of what I’ve been doing for him(like putting gas in the car which he uses….and I mean all of it). I’m thinking of letting him go since he can not see what he is doing. He feels control gets him what he wants since in the past he has been used and don’t want a repeat of that. What makes him think I will? I’ve already shown him that I’m here with you not against. But I’m getting tired of the same thing over and over. He has literally taken over everything of mine to the point I cant go somewhere without him hunting me down asking where I am and to come back at this time so he can go out. Well now I have learned all there is and I’m giving to much without much coming back and its killing me. I notice he makes some attempts but fails. I want to know how to approach him. He is of course going to explode at my attempt to correct this like always. One time I threaten to leave him and he got all quiet and begged me to stay though I told him if no better then later. Maybe I stuck around because I see the potential and feel I can make good change.(sigh I guess its not meant to be) I accept him but I don’t really feel like tolerating him and his outrageous behavior. I also think he dose not know how or might just need anger management classes.(sigh I must really be in love with him inside but not out…weird) Its not like he doesn’t mean well but he just have issues, I mean serious ones.June 5, 2013 at 7:17 am #36492
Also just yesturday the man actually threaten to slap me when i made a comment about a guy i was talking to just before he picked me up. I told him dose it really matter who he is? Im just making conversation while i wait for you. But that was after i told him he was a teacher of mine in school that i recognized. At the same time he was in pain from an infection in his wisdom tooth. Now i know if i have to tip around and becareful around him then there is no reason for me to be with him. Im not comfortable and im not myself. Im not going to say “oh well his tooth was really hurting and that was the pain talking not him” No way am i buying that! He cant control or tolerate his pain and he dare raise his hand at me? That shouldnt have crossed his mind. I really need to cut this fast since he cant understand nor control himself. Before you know it he would have beaten me and i him if it were to go any futher. No way am i sticking around just to(excuse the language) kick his ass. I try with him but like one person told me “you cant help everyone”.June 5, 2013 at 9:14 am #36495JadeParticipant
Anyone who threatens to hurt you physically is not your friend; you are not obligated to stay with him through his “anger issues” at the cost of your own safety! My advice would be to end the relationship and cut off contact with him.
Don’t believe in the lie of “trying to change a man” for the better, jerks will remain jerks no matter what you do! I’d rather be with a mature, rational adult than someone who is out of control and possessive.June 5, 2013 at 5:08 pm #36508
Exactally if nothing in him gave the thought of not reacting that way then what comes next is the end result of that regaurdless of sorries. Never once have i treated him wrong but support him so far. I guess some people just dont get it. Well at least i dont feel crazy about him that i cant let him go like some. Im actually all for it.June 11, 2013 at 12:02 am #36741PratyushParticipant
Dump him…You deserve better :)..also agree with jade.June 11, 2013 at 12:01 pm #36759
Yep a work in process…July 3, 2013 at 1:06 pm #37922Mark B HooverParticipant
Ain’t a work in progress…it’s a tumor growing. Looks like it started with a lie and has been going downhill since (“When I first met him he told me he was 25 but later on after some things happened he decides to tell me he is really(at that time) 28.”).
Thereafter follows the adage, “Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you.”
Say goodbye twice as quickly as you said Hello.July 3, 2013 at 2:47 pm #37924
Oh? Yeah your right I knew there was something wrong from the start but I over looked that. Foolish me. My goodbyes are quick though and I have finished it just need to clean up the left overs.