Hi Everyone, I’m not sure if this is the place, but it seemed appropriate for this topic. I just recently joined, and wanted to tell a story of my recent experience and see if anyone else has encountered it, and if so, could provide any recommendation, thoughts, and or advice. I recently just got out of a 5 year relationship, that was off and on from time to time. The first question, people ask is why you would date someone for that long, aren’t married or why did you stay together so long etc. So to make a long winded story short, when we first started dating, about 5 years ago, we met through a dating website. We met a couple of times and things went pretty well. So we continued to hangout. I was non committal as I wasn’t sure of my true feelings for her. As we kept hanging out, she was very nice, showering me with compliments, very pleasing/accommodating, was doing anything and everything to be with me. I felt like I was on top of the world, and we were very sexually intimate. I had never met someone who was giving me everything, with little in return. It was almost too good to be true. With that said, she kept pushing to get more serious, move in, what have you, and there was something telling me, something wasn’t right. To fast forward, she wanted to be serious and I still had reservations, so she decided to start dating other people, and I was OK with that, and I was planning on doing the same. As I had time to reflect(couple weeks) and I knew she was talking to someone else, I couldn’t help but think, of how great she treated me and how happy we were, to at least not give it a real shot. So I reached out to her and told her how I felt, about how greatly she treated me and how well we got along together, and I thought we should give it a shot. She agreed, and thought it would be great to give it a shot as well. From that day on, everything seemed to have change. Tables turned. She had glimpses of the way she used to be, but something seemed to be missing. One day very high and next very low, almost like a roller coaster ride, with lots of dramatics, things I have never seen with her, my head was spinning, I never seen these actions before. I still was finding myself doing everything I could to please her, and take the opportunity we both wanted. She wasn’t reciprocating anymore, even after I still continued to give and push for resolution. I KEPT hoping it would get back to the first 2 years where it was great. Instead I received comments such as ” I don’t deserve to be treated like this” and I started noticing her lack of interest in me. I really started doubting myself and losing confidence within. That span was about 2 years, and ended recently. I probably should have walked away sooner, but I didn’t, because I loved her. To get to my point and question, I started doing research on the net with the way I was being treated(as it didn’t make sense) etc. and stumbled across personality disorders, one in particular Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD). I started to do more research and analyzed the symptoms, and the more and more I did, her actions were indicative with the disorder. I’m almost finished reading a book by Sam Vaknin, and it’s very sad because most of his findings observations are spot on with the personality of my ex-girlfriend. I wanted to see if anyone else out there has had an experience dating/married/family to someone who suffered from NPD and how they coped after parting with them. Thanks for any thoughts/advice in advance!!

• This reply was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by Buddha88.

* Dear buddha88: Brav3 started this thread. If you want Brav3’s reply only, then this is the place. If you want other people’s replies (I will be glad to reply to you), then you can start your own thread. Click FORUMS, choose CATEGORY (RELATIONSHIPS, in your case), go down the page to the empty boxes for title, and for the body of the text. You can copy your post above and paste it into your new thread. See you there!
anita

Dear Brav3:

Then you shouldn’t do this exercise here, I am letting go of the idea. Keeping in mind we are not doing the exercise, can you tell me what is scary about it?

anita

Dear Brav3:

Yes, there are goals you will not be able to achieve in your life. There are goals I will never be able to achieve in my life, well, there were goals. I gave them up. Yet, changing incorrect beliefs you have about yourself is crucial to whether you achieve the goals that are possible for you to achieve, one of which is to have a healthy, loving relationship.

anita