Home→Forums→Relationships→Found soul mate but not at the right time?
- This topic has 6 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 5 months ago by JD.
-
AuthorPosts
-
July 5, 2018 at 8:25 am #215545KathleenParticipant
Hi there.
I know some people roll their eyes at the idea of “soul mates”, and some people believe in it more than their own name. I can say I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. I have never really given it much thought and didn’t have a defined opinion. However, a strange string of events have occurred in my life recently. You see, for the past couple of months, I have been asking the universe to give me an opportunity to practice commitment, responsibility, compassion, and surrender. The universe listened and presented me with opportunities for love. After going on a few dates, interacting with some old connections, etc. I felt confused. None of the people I met gave me the spark I desired to feel, and I was starting to believe the universe was actually just trying to show me how picky I am and that I need to get over myself and settle for one of these lovely people already!
But, before I decided to settle on a mediocre relationship, the spark arrived. I saw an ad online for a car somebody was selling, a car that I have always wanted. It was in my budget, the seller lived nearby, it all seemed perfect. I decided to meet up with the seller. It turns out I had known this man when I was in grade school, and I had a little crush on him in my adolescence. The spark was still there, and I’ve felt something with him that I’ve never felt before. Instead of just selling the car, we talked for hours and connected as if we were old friends from another lifetime. I’m not sure if I want to use the term “soul mate”, but for your understanding, the connection almost felt supernatural. Instead of selling the car that day, it was dragged out into 3 more events and after probably 6+hours of talking about life (in total), I bought the car.
I do not have social media but one of my friends (from the same elementary school all those years ago) is friends with this person on facebook. After asking her to find out if he has a girlfriend, she, unfortunately, found out that he is indeed dating someone else. While I should have known that even though we talked so in depth, those meetings were not “dates” and I should not have gotten excited. And I know that the human mind is literally wired to fall for people we can’t have. But that’s not the case. I’m not angry he has a girlfriend, I’m not jealous. I’m just a little confused.
I fully believe that everything that happens in life is a chance to learn something. But I’m not sure what I’m supposed to learn from meeting a “soul mate” at an inconvenient time? What am I supposed to learn from deeply connecting to someone who isn’t emotionally available? I would just like some advice on what to do now. I’m not sure if I should leave him alone since he is unavailable, to try to stay connected as friends, etc.
Sorry this post is so long. And I thank you in advance!!
July 5, 2018 at 8:41 am #215553AnonymousGuestDear Kathleen:
Welcome back!
Maybe something to learn is to ask a man if he has a girlfriend when you feel this deep connection. You talked with him for hours during the course of three events before you bought the car from him. Sometimes during that time you could have asked.
What do you think about my suggestion of this practical learning opportunity?
anita
July 5, 2018 at 2:44 pm #215605KathleenParticipantAnita,
Thank you for the welcome. Surely I should have asked, but even if he told me in the first few minutes of our meeting, I still would have felt the deep connection. So I feel the lesson is less about asking people whether they’re single or not, and more about something else. I just can’t figure out what that lesson is. Does that make sense? A few months back I posted a similar question. While it was a different person I feel like I keep finding people who I feel are “perfect” but are unavailable; and the ones I deem “imperfect” are the ones who are available. I must have some sort of limiting belief which prevents me from loving available people!!
July 6, 2018 at 6:02 am #215669AnonymousGuestDear Kathleen:
In search for that lesson to be learned, considering you having “some sort of limiting belief which prevents (you) from loving available people”-
You didn’t know this man was unavailable, that is involved in another relationship, until after you felt the soul mate connection with him, so how can his unavailability been a factor in the formation of the connection you made with him?
The woman ten year your senior, from the other thread, you didn’t share there that she was unavailable in any way, being involved in another relationship. Was she?
anita
July 6, 2018 at 9:08 am #215693KathleenParticipantAnita,
You make a good point. And no, other than the fact she was older!
July 6, 2018 at 9:23 am #215697AnonymousGuestDear Kathleen:
Then you are not attracted to unavailable people. It is just that some people you are or will be attracted to are unavailable.
anita
July 7, 2018 at 10:11 am #215793JDParticipantMaybe the connection with him is still the universe giving you the opportunity to practice the things you wanted, even if the outcome isn’t what you thought it would be. I like to think we have different levels of connections with some people and have more than one soulmate.
-
AuthorPosts