Dear Laurie:

So good to read from you again, what a pleasant surprise and happy belated new year to you too!

Well, him texting you late into the night fits with his previous behavior. Without looking back for the details I remember that he called you before while drunk, that he had this arrangement in a farm of sorts, guys getting together on weekends, hunting I think. So he was in a room of sorts, following a day of hunting and night of drinking with the guys and here he calls you again, just like before.

Reads like he operates now same as he operated before, being in a troubled marriage but not exiting it and reaching out to you for something for him to feel better while he stays in his troubled marriage.

It makes me think of nutritional supplements: a person eats a poor diet (his poor marriage) and takes a vitamin supplement so to maintain himself. You wanted to be that excellent cut of steak on his plate, not a tablet he takes as a supplement. Does this make sense to you?

anita

Dear Laurie:

Having stated what you stated, that replies “tend to be blunt, cold & rather judgmental” is assertive on your part, and therefore healthy. Having done so, it is perfectly okay for you to ignore and/ or not respond to any reply you wish to ignore. You don’t have any responsibility or obligation to respond when you don’t want to, especially having assertively explained your reason above. You don’t have to repeat this reason in the future, just ignore any replies you feel are cold and judgmental.

Regarding your question to me, whether you should respond in the future to texts from him, I have a question needed for my answer (I don’t remember if I asked this before): is there a way for you to block him from your phone and if so, did you consider it?

anita