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Friendship issues

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  • #324159
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi everyone

    I have been having this friendship issues with a friend for months since June. It started out when I told her that my grandpa passed away, she said she will be with me twice but she wasn’t there not even for the funeral. I was feeling emotional and angry so I said some stuff that open up about her past wounds and memories.

    Even though I apologise to her and she forgives me but said that I crossed her boundaries, things doesn’t feel the same between us. We converse and text less often, it feels like she is avoiding me or trying to heal up which I don’t know whatever reason it is. I tried my best to make it up to her. But it seems that the more I make up to her the more it gets worse. But I told her that I am slowly trying to be a better friend to her and she was fine with it. I am not sure if in the past she ever has feelings for me because she did and say some stuff which prompts me to have some doubts about her feelings for me.

    Both of us are friends and working colleagues at the same time and some nosey parker notice that both of us aren’t talking and decided to let my superior knows about it, resulting in my superiors to intervene into the matter. Both of my superiors talked to us separately which my friend acknowledge that there is/are some issues going on with us but doesn’t know what it is. Ever since that day, she gave me very cold shoulders, never even say hi or interact with me at all. Zero interaction which till this day I do not know what did I do wrong to her that prompts her to have such reactions

     

    Recently, she was harressed online by an anonymous, no life threatening, blackmailing was in the message when I asked the police officer about the content. I was called up to the police station to assist investigation about 3 weeks ago, because we had issues, the police questioned me, which I feel that it is work procedures for them. The police officer ask what’s the issues between me and her and I reply I don’t know, which leads to the police to reply me saying: even she doesn’t knows what’s the issues between you and her. Come on, give me something.

    ( I thought I was crazy or perhaps I am having some psychological issues in me which leads me to seek a professional help to diagnose my situation but the professional advisor diagnose me to be fine. )

    I do not know what’s the issue between me and her that prompts her to have such reaction towards me, I have so many questions in me, I feel like reaching out to her but I know that the more I push, the more it gets worse. The feeling is very agonising as she doesn’t wants to open up to me.

    She say she is in a relationship but the way it is , I feel that she isnt somehow in a way. It feels very complicated as the whole story that I shared needs to be dissected into different components for thinking.

     

    I really do appreciate some help and advice to such situations. Never have i encountered such issues in my life. A friendship issues.

     

    #324415
    Marge
    Participant

    Relationships (of any kind) aren’t easy. You have to learn about dealing with people that have different opinions and perceptions. You need to make an effort if you want to have these people in your life.

    However, I feel that friendships are supposed to add up to your life instead of being a source of stress, anxiety, agony etc.

    Try to understand why you’re still holding on to this friendship and why it’s so important to you.

    If this is a true friendship, you should work on yourself to let it go. Some people don’t belong in our lifes forever and this is fine. Maybe her time in your life has expired and you’ll have to detach yourself from it, give her the space she needs and be okay with the fact that you might never understand her reasons for distancing herself.

    If this is unrequited love on your part, I think you should come clean about your feelings and try to work things out but at the same time, if it’s on her part, there’s nothing you can do but to let her go.

    Wish you all the best!

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