Dear Ed:

Welcome back to the forums! In regard to your current girlfriend, is it the same woman you shared about back in Nov 9 last year, the one you helped and had her stay with you after she was physically and emotionally abused by her boyfriend (who was a former friend of yours)?

anita

Dear Ed:

You are welcome. On the same Nov 9, 2022 post where you shared for the first time about your now girlfriend, you wrote: “I am also struggling with intense anger and feelings of helplessness, although I suspect that these feelings stem from me (being) triggered“.

Four days later, on Nov 13, you wrote: “Life is starting to move forward again and my anger and confusion are slowly fading with each day“.

Fast forward two months and 11 days and your anger and feelings of  helplessness have been indeed triggered: “At around 3 weeks ago, she started telling me about a male colleague of hers who started making inappropriate comments about her.. I was told by her that the colleague stroked her hair and asked her if she was a ‘romantic’… Today my gf told me she’s feeling awful about the situation and I am just feeling so f***** angry” (Jan 24, 2023)-

– I wish she didn’t tell you these things because it triggered your “intense anger and feelings of helplessness” (your words from Nov 9, above). I wish she told HR (Human Resources) at her workplace, or another agency about the sexual harassment that she’s been experiencing at work, because they can do something about it, you can’t (other than suggest to her to quit her job, or get yourself in legal trouble approaching the man). What do you think?

anita

Hi Ed

Your girlfriend might be the best person to ask about that. You could ask her to read what you’d like to say and ask if she’d like you to change anything.

The situation is infrequent. But maybe they can put up a sign or something. And tell staff what to do if it happens.

Hi there

new to TB and this may seem like very anti TB advice but if it were me I would confront the guy and tell him that if he didn’t stop I would beat him up so bad he would would be on liquids only for a long time. Me ? 53, very active dad and business owner , snowboarder, motorcycle rider, author ( my first novel will be published this fall ) and amateur boxer with a 14 -1-1 record. Sometimes guys like this only respect one thing and that is the possibility of being pulverized. If you ain’t that kind of guy then it’s not an option. For me, I would wrap my hands well and tell him how bad I am going to hurt him. This might be a bit anti LB but I am telling you, some of the most balanced people I have ever met are pro boxers who are motivated, loving fathers and partners but who could without doubt, send you off this mortal coil!