Thank you thank you thank you Anita!!!! 😊😊😊😊

Well mostly cuz I thought she might reply on my bday but maybe she’s moved on

But all of this even if she’s gone on vacation with friends, with someone else.

It isn’t in my control. That’s what I’m saying

If she isnt ready, the message might just be a cop out

I think in the 5 weeks i wasnt there, she may have moved on. She has blocked me on the only other open avenue we have to connect. It has been 2 weeks since she blocked me. All I said was all the stuff I was trying to do to self improve and then asked if she had gone on vacation to chill. So 5 weeks of no contact and then the block. I sent her all my thoughts in EMAIL and that i will be in town during Halloween.

Maybe idk why i dont wanna give up? I do think when partners are done with the relationship, every little thing makes them mad. I know that i might have messed up in the final convo but maybe it was what was gonna happen anyway? I should have let her speak her mind. Had i not worked overtime and been extremely tired maybe it could have been different. I have to forgive myself because maybe i kept doubting my answers. But you know what, I did everything I could and I think she rejected me as a person. Love is about actually loving everything about ur partner; the good and the bad. or most things. Will posting the final conversation even help? Ty Anita and thanks for the prayer< I appreciate it

Thank you Anita! I appreciate it. So I have come to the conclusion that women are always attracted to me or come to me when I am the most confident or have the most positive vibes in my life. Whether it be on apps, I meet them by chance or travelling, it has been mostly the case. And so the relationship is built on that foundation most of the times, because at the time I am the best version of myself that I can be. This has really been the case for all my past relationships that mattered. The only one that lasted the longest is when me and my first serious relationship of 4 years dated. I was introduced to her by a friend and we both asked for each other.

Im thinking its hard to not be sexual early on in dating cuz you wanna know if there is sexual compatibility as well. So just be friends? But since I am impatient or do a lot of Long distance its hard. If it was for me, I wouldnt do long distance. I know im not old but 34 years old but I just vibe more with people of Japanese decent or maybe im trying to mimic or replace my first gf. I know I cant do that tho. Anywho these were my thoughts yesterday talking to my friend:

Yeah u are right. I tried to best love her with all my might but it was surface love. We actually are total opposites. I did everything I could on my end. And yes I messed up 2 times with her boundaries and maybe 3 times but maybe that was my downfall. I had a LDR before and i did everything right and still got the boot. So maybe its me thinking I can be free and do whatever I want. But eventually there is consequences. I appreciate you taking the time to talk and respond yo. I guess i am a hopeful person and we tried it. Sometimes its hard to face the reality. But now I know what my first LDR felt. She loved me for me, and I loved the same way. It was a way for Karma to get back at me but this journey we call life only happens once so like you said. The path is leading to a dead end. I am too hopeful and was trying to avoid that dead end. I think she may have moved on in NC. Thats the best explanation. For some reason, she escalated our last talk way too much. And triggered both sides. So maybe that is what it was. Whatever it is, and yeah i made a lot of mistakes these last 9 months. I guess me not thinking long term bit me in the butt. The quality women are taken lol At 22 my 24 y/o gf was quality lol. Im 34 now. So yeah its gonna be hard. and gotta wait til i find someone who vibes-

She broke up with me and the fight ended badly. 1 week later she sent the I need to think whether this is for me or not. In between she was busy with a project but i bombarded her with memories etc. The reason the fight ended badly was cuz we didnt give each others a chance to speak. All because I was tired and send her stuff i forgot to send her previously. I do interupt ppl here and there but I guess she was trying to get all her thoughts out and I replied immediately . She told me i couldnt seize the moment and then I told her she was a bad person. Both things triggered us a lot. Tbh I was very tired, 3 days with very little sleep trying to sleep with her time zone. I wanna move on. But i have a certain type, and fit that category exactly. She also spoke spanish which is important to me. Does this sound like a relationship that would last ever? What am I seeing here? Are we just ppl with opposite views and different ppl? She’s only had one bf of 6 years and shes 36. She has been in an intense career of 9-10 years where it doesnt allow for a relationship to flourish, (works as a PM for film/shoots/commercials). So her career was her top priority for sure. And up until her dads death she wanted to get a less stressful role in film process (If there is one) but yeah we only have animals and traveling in common and being introverted. We had the same upbringing tho. How close do in personality do ppl have to be to grow old together? How close do the hobbies have to intertwine? Ive noticed i dont have many common interests with many of my partners of the past. And i have a type, body type, race that i have gone for and am attracted to.