January 12, 2016 at 5:32 pm #92272
I don’t know where to start. I have been depressed my whole life. I was abused by my babysitter my whole childhood. Then as a teenager I’ve struggled with relationships and never was happy. I’ve tried running from home and committing suicide multiple times. But I always have this little bit of hope. I keep hearing it’s always going to get better but for me, I don’t even know if it can get better. I hate this self pity thing. But I don’t know what else to do.
I have no passion. No dreams. Nothing. I don’t even know what I want out of life anymore. I’m failing school because I sleep in everyday. I have no motivation in life. I have no job, no car, I am the worst thing.
I’m never satisfied with life. I’m so lost and confused I don’t know what else to say but there’s so much more.January 12, 2016 at 6:06 pm #92273jimParticipant
Name, There is ONLY one thing you can do! And that’s Hang in there! you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other!!! just take it day by day! I know your pain! I have suffered severe depression all my life! STILL do! I was diagnosed with a HUGE brain tumor 9 1/2 of surgery had to learn to walk and talk all over again! was out of work for 2 years because of it! still to this day I am so much pain from that surgery! I have no motivation, goals, dreams ECT. There is not one day that goes by that I don’t think about ending it! It was pointed out to me one time, there is ALWAYS Someone worse off then you! The blind, people in wheelchairs, the homeless that doesn’t have ANY family or a friend! You have to find away somehow! to keep going! Try helping someone less fortunate then you! that’s what I was told. it get gets your mind off yourself! They also told me, the more you focus on your problem the bigger it grows! just keep sharing on here to get out of your system! But, hang in there! REMEMBER, IT COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE! GOOD LUCK!January 12, 2016 at 7:24 pm #92313anitaParticipant
Can you share how old you are… who do you live with? Did you ever live on your own? What do you do with your time? What is your day like?
What are your present relationships with your mother? Father? Grandmother?
Please do share…
anitaJanuary 12, 2016 at 7:41 pm #92317jockParticipant
I found Jim’s post inspiring and I hope you do too.January 12, 2016 at 10:39 pm #92333
I’m turning 18 in a few months. My usual day goes like this:
Hang out with friends
Go to sleepJanuary 12, 2016 at 10:41 pm #92334
It’s not really family relationships that bother me. It’s my friendships. For example. I sometimes find my friends back stabbing me, being dishonest and unreliable. It’s complicatedJanuary 13, 2016 at 2:54 am #92336JoeParticipant
I know this is going to seem like clichéd advice but this is the only advice I can give you – just ride it out and hang in there. You probably won’t believe me when I say this but things do get better eventually. There have been times over the past four years when I felt as if the s*** had hit the fan and at the time I was convinced things were going to stay that way forever, but I found that those states of being don’t last forever. 2015 was another example of a crappy year and I’m only starting to get back up and fight back.
I agree with Jim when he said “try to help somebody less fortunate” – is there an organization or cause you could volunteer for? I have done a bit of volunteer work over the past few years – I worked at a charity/thrift shop run by the British Heart Foundation (this was extremely fun – getting to play shopkeepers on the cash register and getting first dibs on all the cool books and cds haha!) I currently volunteer at a public library – mostly it’s boring stuff like putting books back on shelves (somebody has to do it!) but sometimes I do get asked by members of the public to help them out with computer-related matters and that is the stuff I enjoy the most. I find helping other people is great and you feel good.
You also mention that your friendships bother you and that they are unreliable backstabbers. They sound like generally toxic people if you ask me, and in my opinion people are better off not associating with such people. Are there any other friendships you don’t deem to be dishonest and unreliable? Try spending more time with them. If you do decide to maybe do volunteer work or something, you could make new friends there.
I hope the tables turn for you soon, my friend. Sending you light and strength.
JoeJanuary 13, 2016 at 4:47 am #92342JenParticipant
I am so sorry to hear this. Are you being treated for your depression via therapy or medication? Don’t give up. You are still so very young. Life gets hard and let me tell you – I am 31 years old and I still have hard times. As we speak, I’m going through a horrible break up and even though I am sad, I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I truly believe that things will get better for you. I think that the depression may be why you are sleeping in and have no desire to go to school. What do you parents think? I think maybe speaking to someone about the abuse you suffered may be helpful. Again, I hope things get better.January 13, 2016 at 5:21 am #92344MichaelParticipant
Your post was very hard to read – I really do feel for you. The posts in response had some very good advice but I think one thing is very important and that is to DO something. It’s easy for me to write that and I realise that it is much harder to do when you’re depressed but its essential to break out of the cycle of feeling too tired and down to take the initiative and therefore feeling more down because you’ve ‘failed’.
I think of all the advice that has been given the best is to find someone to talk to. Has your school got a counsellor you could approach? Is there even one of your friends who is more thoughtful and genuine than the rest? Is there anyone in your family? I’m not religious myself but I know friends who have gained help by talking to people from their church. Is there a teacher you could talk to? Is there a youth counselling or support organisation in your area?January 13, 2016 at 7:59 am #92353CallMeBaoParticipant
What you’ve been going through know that you are never alone. There are millions of people in this world and there are some who are bound to go through the same thing as you are. Try changing your point of view, don’t just think of all the bad things that happen to you but think of the nice ones too no matter how small it is! Trust me, once you do you’ll see that every time after something bad happens something good will come along , no matter how big or small the magnitude is. Life works that way because ‘Life’ is giving us lessons to learn from every single day of our lives.
Dont rush trying to figure out what to do with your life. Take your time, go to places that gives you peace in mind. Just chill and enjoy the scenery. Share a piece of your mind and soul with your most trusted friend/friends. They got your back 🙂 If you hvnt had any yet, no worries my friend, they will come along.
Lastly, STOP spending time alone, you gotta try new things. Get out there and explore ! You’ll see that there’s actually so many things that are yet to be done. Things wont get better unless change your way of life, Step by Step.
Your Friendly Neighbour ~January 13, 2016 at 8:49 am #92355anitaParticipant
I am concerned about you as are others here. I would very much like it if you felt and functioned better in life.
There is something I don’t understand. I am hoping you can help me understand it:
Above on this thread you wrote: “It’s not really family relationships that bother me.”
But on a thread Oct 30 of last year, you wrote: ” My whole family hates me. I’ve gone crazy. My grandmother tells my mother that I’m a demon of pure evil. My own mother disowns me. My brother hates me. I can’t live with it any more. Can’t even think straight. I’ve lost it. I just want to die. My whole family thinks I’m a liar. I shaking. So hungry and scared.”
I don’t understand how these two things go together… hope you can make it clear for me..
anitaJanuary 13, 2016 at 4:03 pm #92425jimParticipant
well, There NOT YOUR FRIENDS!!! If there are back stabbing you! Find new friends!January 13, 2016 at 8:31 pm #92468AlParticipant
I am sorry for your suffering.
Sometimes, we suffer so greatly that our mind, body and spirit aggressively demand that we seek out answers as to regain some balance within. A lack of results over a prolonged period can definitely further add to our desperation and may also add parallel chaotic symptoms constricting us further. In such a muddled state, its understanding for our entire being to only spew ‘now now now’ when mending. The damage insists that ALL within us be immediately repaired instead of bits and pieces at a time. However, similar to a major auto wreck, we must be realistic, understanding and patient in repairing the damages and not commit to the false belief of instant restoration.
My friend, 17 is too young and beautiful to have already given up. Our situations (and lives) are dynamic; constantly changing. The tadpole may think it will live its entirety in the pond until it grows limbs and in size only to discover it now possesses the ability to travel to new waters. Do you believe you are not currently in the tadpole’s situation? However, despite now having limbs, do you believe your troubles to suddenly and entirely be forever over? That you’ve achieved a ‘happily-ever-after’? You dont think traveling to new waters will yield in new and unknown situations physically, mentally and spiritually? These questions translate that to live means to constantly learn; to eternally remain a child of life. However, the absolute truth that we will never have all the answers does not mean our journeys cannot be unenjoyable. In fact, to not be ‘all-knowing’ is a most elating thing. That I am gifted with the benefit of discovery thrills me, that I possess the capacity to manipulate events to fulfill my desires (such as traveling overseas or attempting a new recipe) exhilarates me, that I possess the sense of hearing to take pleasures in music and sounds heartens me, etc….Do you believe you could establish true appreciation without some adversities? Do you believe your current difficulties are not teaching you anything? Do you believe you currently know less that three years ago? Would not knowing everything bore you?
Name, a monk will obtain more insight from being exposed to various environment than from spending his entire life in monastery. Your answers are not yet revealed for various reasons but living in a loop is sure to minimize your chances in stimulating them. While true that you are still young and therefore limited in your journeying, remember that we are children but for only a small portion of our lives and are adults for the majority. Your time to freely experience, experiment, explore and discover will come soon enough. However, considering all phenomenons, or events, constantly entering our lives should also be at the top of our priority list. What is the point of having all of these experiences if we do not take care in understanding them?
As I do not want to burden you any more reading I will leave it at this. Your journey still possesses the capacity for beautiful events. Don’t give up yet.
Please excuse any grammatical errors and do let me know if anything needs clarifying.
AlJanuary 14, 2016 at 1:52 pm #92541
My family troubles have gotten better. I no longer worry about that anymore. I’m mostly worried about myself. I’m failing school. No job. Nothing. Im just unsatisfied with my life.
And thanks to everyone else for your help.
This is just a lot to deal withJanuary 14, 2016 at 2:06 pm #92544AnonymousInactive
Well I know how you feel but the best start is to start small, pick something to focus your mind on. For example pick writing or have a sketchbook to draw or write your feelings, find a way to express yourself, make note of them. Maybe getting out your feelings will help you and it is good to reflect back on your thoughts.
Also try figuring out things you love to do and focus on how to do something you love, something outside of yourself, sometimes it’s good to get out of your head and focus your attention outward and begin to build a love toward yourself.
I know it seems hard, but don’t worry about school and work, those things will improve when you focus on yourself. Not to get all corny but I’m sure you are a great person but just haven’t found what makes you great and that is what is great about life, it is all there for you discover and that is what makes life interesting. Well anyway I hope you can find things you love and focus on that, you will see your mind start to shift.