Home→Forums→Tough Times→giving up on life
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January 24, 2016 at 10:24 pm #93592NameParticipant
I think I need to take control of my anger and I’ll be able to heal because I have very bad anger problems that cause a lot of damage to myself and others. I easily get offended by something and I can just have all this heat inside me. It feels like a fire burning inside ny chest.
I think my aanger is the cause of most of my problems. I also heard that anger is more of a symptom of something else like fear.
How do I distinguish this “fire”?
January 25, 2016 at 8:38 am #93602AnonymousGuestDear Name:
I like your insight! I know anger and it can feel like a fire burning inside the chest!
It is my experience that underneath the anger there is fear. But back to the anger: there is a message in the anger. The message is that you are hurt, that someone you cared about …or still care about hurt you. Automatically, when you are hurt, you feel fear of that pain, that hurt and you want to fight back, to hurt back. It is natural, animals experience that too! When an animal is hurt by another, right before it fights, it feels anger, that fire in the chest, and that anger motivates it to fight.
We as humans can think… a lot and we often do not fight and often we shouldn’t fight (or end up in jail…) so the anger stays inside us. What to do? Realize the message in the anger: that you were unfairly hurt, through no fault of your own. This is easier said than done, but through a process it is possible to do, and then the anger calms down.
Can’t get rid of the anger, or extinguish it until you “hear’ its message
What do you think?
anita
January 25, 2016 at 11:42 am #93623FloralinaParticipantHey there,do not give up…
Enjoy your young years and don’t waste them.
I am 28 and stuck in a rut and I’m guessing you’re younger!I wasted my twenties worrying and worrying and as a result I fell into a severe clinical depression!
So many things happened and I’m sitting here thinking I’m almost 30 and still worrying!
It has helped me with nothing but misery!
I’m trying to pick myself up now and I hope you take my example and feel better about your beautiful self!
Take care.January 25, 2016 at 12:46 pm #93635AnonymousGuest* Dear Floralina:
I just responded to your thread. Can you add there what you are worried about so much?
anitaJanuary 25, 2016 at 5:21 pm #93687NameParticipant@anita
It seems like there’s much more to my anger. Something I don’t know about. I have a hard time seeing myself without this anger. It’s almost like I am the amger or something. I have no clue how to find the message because it seems so complicated for me to understand.January 25, 2016 at 6:51 pm #93705AnonymousGuestDear Name:
You are so angry that you feel you are Anger itself. You must have been hurt a lot, people hurt you again and again, this is why you are angry, isn’t it?
anita
January 26, 2016 at 7:50 pm #93887NameParticipant@anita
Yeah.
Sometimes I feel like I’ll be alone forever. I’ll always be unsatisfied with my life. I feel like I can’t heal because I’m scarred and scars don’t heal.But I don’t want any of that. I want to be happy and to look forward to wake up to another day. I want people to see me and say that’s somebody. I want friends who are loyal and will stick by my side no matter what.
But I feel like nobody. Nothing. Empty. Sad. Depressed. Angry. Mad. Deprived. Weak. Lazy. Terrible.
I don’t know what to do. My whole life I’ve been like this. Nothing ever gets better. I wish there was something I can know. Something I can do that will make me happier. All I want is to be happy.
January 26, 2016 at 7:56 pm #93888NameParticipantSometimes I feel like I just want to die.
January 26, 2016 at 8:16 pm #93890AnonymousGuestDear Name:
I too felt like I just wanted to die… when I was your age and younger. i did because I was hurting so badly I wanted the pain to stop. I know you feel hopeless and yet you also have hope, this is why you keep posting here.
Name, I know… I mean it, Name, I know that you are a Somebody. I know it. And you deserve at least one person to be loyal to you and stick by your side no matter what. If you had such a person in your young life, you would have been in a much, much better place now. It is a great shame that there wasn’t. It is very sad and unfair to you.
I didn’t have anyone on my side either as a child and at your age. I was all alone and I was afraid and hopeless. I understand. I too thought I was a Nobody. But now, I know that I am a Somebody. And when I read this post above, when I read your honest feelings, your desire to be happy, to have a reason to get up for another day, I know without a doubt, that you are as worthy as anyone at all in this world and that you are no less of a Somebody… than anybody.
I just wish there was a way to make you believe me and trust me on this!
anita
January 26, 2016 at 9:48 pm #93914NameParticipant@anita
I know I’ll never find someone who I can feel safe around. Because I push people away. Even when I know I have a friend who is loyal. But I think my temper gets to me. I get mad for something small and I treat everyone like shit. when I’m angry, and most of the time I am, I think I scare people away. I think that’s why I’m always lonely.January 27, 2016 at 9:55 am #93949AnonymousGuestDear Name:
Your thinking makes sense to me. Underneath the person, you, who scares people away is a person scared himself. You are scared to be hurt by others like you were hurt so many times before. The times most hurtful to you were when you were hurt as a young child. If you get to see the scared part of you, the hurt part of you, if you look at him, with empathy and understanding (he didn’t get empathy and understanding as a child)- then you will progress, heal and things will come together for you, like a jigsaw puzzle. Please do post, again and again, Name. Here on this forum, with me, you are safe.
anita
January 29, 2016 at 1:22 pm #94244AnonymousGuestDear Name:
How are you?
anita
January 30, 2016 at 1:51 am #94294NameParticipant@anita
At the moment I’m not worse nor am I better.
I’m just trying to relax and figure out how to understand what is going on.January 30, 2016 at 9:13 am #94310AnonymousGuestDear Name:
Relaxing is good. There is a person that needs your attention, needs your empathy, needs you to be on his side, needs your loyalty and that person is you. Attend to the person who needs you most, you can’t make it without… you.
Post anytime…
anita
February 1, 2016 at 10:51 pm #94678NameParticipantI’m going to start using this as a journal I guess. I’ll start by adding that today I’ve notice a bit of a change. I guess I feel more confident or stand up. I’m also optimistic about my schooling. I think I can stay motivated to do good and put school high up on my priorities and not procrastinate. I also made some resumes and I’m going to apply to as many local places I can. I’m also going to work on being more confident with people and being able to start a conversation with them.
Right now, I’m going to sleep and wake up early. Then that day I’m going to start my journey.
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